Comments on: Knifecrime Island Hottie Naughty?

By: mikep

mikep — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 12:37:14 +0000

Jeeves and the Unkindest Cut of All…is that a real story, or did I make it up?

By: Bettytron

Bettytron — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 22:49:25 +0000

Can we combine British-Awl-post-styles and get a Wodehousian perspective on knifecrime? Please?

By: mikep

mikep — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 21:01:23 +0000

Yes, but it was the prosecutor who said that. Someone who had his heart in the job would have made driving anything classier than a 15-year-old Mondeo sound like a crime in itself.

By: Mindpowered

Mindpowered — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:47:21 +0000

Bolton is to Manchester as the Meadowlands are to Manhattan.

I know about this knife crime. While in England, I was kicked, punched, shoved, puked on, fondled, and otherwise physically molested but never once stabbed.

I feel totally gypped.

By: petejayhawk

petejayhawk — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:47:59 +0000

I live in the US but I've never been shot to death. Crazy, huh?

By: oudemia

oudemia — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:34:25 +0000

I love me some NHS, but they do not seem to be treating her jaundice.

By: Mary HK Choi

Mary HK Choi — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:23:09 +0000

interesting? but it's only a C220.

By: mikep

mikep — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:15:25 +0000

Those of us who live on Knifecrime island but never see a lethal knife outside the kitchen continue to be mildly amused by your knifecrime riff, but if you continue to confuse Lancashire and Yorkshire I may knife you myself. Repeat after me: she was arrested IN Bolton, Lancashire, going TO Yorkshire.

Anyway, you missed the most interesting stuff. The Merc, apparently, "is a pretty reasonable car for someone in her position, with young children and on state benefits"; but none of the bottom feeders who read the Daily Mail thought this worthy of comment. Plus she has a pink and black Nokia.

By: Rasselas

Rasselas — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:46:43 +0000

No. I appreciate an attractive Brit brunette as much as the next man, but no. That comparison approaches the Jennifer-Love-Hewitt-as-Audrey-Hepburn outer reaches of wrongness.

By: KarenUhOh

KarenUhOh — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:44:58 +0000

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Nostrils

By: HiredGoons

HiredGoons — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:43:56 +0000

Is it possible to say 'Trafalgar' without sounding drunk?

By: Natasha Vargas-Cooper

Natasha Vargas-Cooper — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:39:55 +0000

She had her collar felt by an airport rozzer!

By: formerly it takes a lot etc.

formerly it takes a lot etc. — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:38:23 +0000

We're not the foreigners, you are! Please remember that!

By: NotAndersonCooper

NotAndersonCooper — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:37:14 +0000

Throw the Kindle at her!

By: LondonLee

LondonLee — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:36:44 +0000

It is! I don't even live there anymore but on one trip home I fell down some steps in Trafalgar Square and broke my foot (I was very drunk), went to the hospital and got it fixed right up no questions asked.

Don't know if we should be doing the same for you bloody foreigners though.

By: HiredGoons

HiredGoons — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:32:21 +0000

My (American) friend is on tour in Europe and had a kidney stone (!!!) in England, and said NHS is amazing.

By: Bittersweet

Bittersweet — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:27:51 +0000

I don't know, isn't everyone on welfare in England?

By: HiredGoons

HiredGoons — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:26:14 +0000

She looks like Isabelle Adjani in Herzog's 'Nosferatu.'

By: gregorg

gregorg — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:19:38 +0000

Alright, I get it. You saw Oceans Thirteen. But when you're writing about England, please write in hot dish.