Comments on: How To Cook A Fucking Steak http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak Seriously, this could not be more beta Fri, 19 Mar 2010 03:08:40 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: rowan http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-62145 rowan Thu, 28 Jan 2010 02:04:26 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-62145 pretty sure that's a pork chop. this is comin' from a consummate fuckin' carnivore. pretty sure that's a pork chop. this is comin' from a consummate fuckin' carnivore.

]]> By: solorbell http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-60646 solorbell Fri, 22 Jan 2010 20:28:27 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-60646 This article is about cooking steak. THAT picture shows a porkchop. Just sayin'. This article is about cooking steak. THAT picture shows a porkchop. Just sayin'.

]]> By: gardzilla http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-59249 gardzilla Wed, 20 Jan 2010 04:55:43 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-59249 k checkit, men (ok…REAL men) like the smell of a few things in the air at the pad when they are present, one is the scorched animal…t’other is scorched gooch. Both took some effort to get that sweet perfume into the fuckin air. AND WHAT THE WEEPING BABY JESUS FUCK is this about cooking the wonder that is stake in a fucking pan on a fucking stove or in a fucking oven? you want that shit done right and you want to feel like your fucking club wielding ancestors of old you go buy a fucking grill and you cook that motherfucker over the fucking fire like your hunter gatherer take no shit from no motherfucker ancestors did, as a matter of fact, fuck the grill, just get you some fucking wood and a fucking sharp stick and slow turn that fucking protien packed goodness that is responsible for our ability for abstract thought and complex motherfucking tool making until YOU decide its done, and if your “guests” dont like the way that shit tastes, throw their asses on that fucking fire and ask if the rest would like fucking seconds… word. k checkit, men (ok…REAL men) like the smell of a few things in the air at the pad when they are present, one is the scorched animal…t’other is scorched gooch. Both took some effort to get that sweet perfume into the fuckin air. AND WHAT THE WEEPING BABY JESUS FUCK is this about cooking the wonder that is stake in a fucking pan on a fucking stove or in a fucking oven? you want that shit done right and you want to feel like your fucking club wielding ancestors of old you go buy a fucking grill and you cook that motherfucker over the fucking fire like your hunter gatherer take no shit from no motherfucker ancestors did, as a matter of fact, fuck the grill, just get you some fucking wood and a fucking sharp stick and slow turn that fucking protien packed goodness that is responsible for our ability for abstract thought and complex motherfucking tool making until YOU decide its done, and if your “guests” dont like the way that shit tastes, throw their asses on that fucking fire and ask if the rest would like fucking seconds…

word.

]]> By: gardzilla http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-59248 gardzilla Wed, 20 Jan 2010 04:49:07 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-59248 k checkit, men (ok...REAL men) like the smell of a few things in the air at the pad when they are present, one is the scorched animal...t'other is scorched gooch. Both took some effort to get that sweet perfume into the fuckin air. AND WHAT THE WEEPING BABY JESUS FUCK is this about cooking the wonder that is stake in a fucking pan on a fucking stove or in a fucking oven? you want that shit done right and you want to feel like your fucking club wielding ancestors of old you go buy a fucking grill and you cook that motherfucker over the fucking fire like your hunter gatherer take no shit from no motherfucker ancestors did, as a matter of fact, fuck the grill, just get you some fucking wood and a fucking sharp stick and slow turn that fucking protien packed goodness that is responsible for our ability for abstract thought and complex motherfucking tool making until YOU decide its done, and if your "guests" dont like the way that shit tastes, throw their asses on that fucking fire and ask if the rest would like fucking seconds... word. k checkit, men (ok…REAL men) like the smell of a few things in the air at the pad when they are present, one is the scorched animal…t'other is scorched gooch. Both took some effort to get that sweet perfume into the fuckin air. AND WHAT THE WEEPING BABY JESUS FUCK is this about cooking the wonder that is stake in a fucking pan on a fucking stove or in a fucking oven? you want that shit done right and you want to feel like your fucking club wielding ancestors of old you go buy a fucking grill and you cook that motherfucker over the fucking fire like your hunter gatherer take no shit from no motherfucker ancestors did, as a matter of fact, fuck the grill, just get you some fucking wood and a fucking sharp stick and slow turn that fucking protien packed goodness that is responsible for our ability for abstract thought and complex motherfucking tool making until YOU decide its done, and if your "guests" dont like the way that shit tastes, throw their asses on that fucking fire and ask if the rest would like fucking seconds…

word.

]]> By: mamma goddess http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-59159 mamma goddess Tue, 19 Jan 2010 22:13:18 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-59159 I am so glad I found this post. I tell my husband all the time how to prepare a steak. Thanks for the simple instructions, surely the moron will be able to follow! http://themammagoddess.blogspot.com/ I am so glad I found this post. I tell my husband all the time how to prepare a steak. Thanks for the simple instructions, surely the moron will be able to follow!

http://themammagoddess.blogspot.com/

]]> By: Heywood Yablowme http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-58308 Heywood Yablowme Sun, 17 Jan 2010 18:21:29 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-58308 Sounds like all you dick lickers need a hug. I got some meat your lips can hug... Sounds like all you dick lickers need a hug.

I got some meat your lips can hug…

]]> By: UscrewU2 http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-58281 UscrewU2 Sat, 16 Jan 2010 22:10:48 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-58281 Fuck that 3 to 5 minute cooking shit! Knock the fuckin horns off, wipe its ass, cut er into chunks, and flame roast for 2 minutes. Now were good to go. Get your fucking head out of your ass and stop frying steak you pussy bastard. Ya got something to say to me, you can say it at http://uscrewu2.blogspot.com/ Fuck that 3 to 5 minute cooking shit!
Knock the fuckin horns off, wipe its ass, cut er into chunks, and flame roast for 2 minutes.
Now were good to go.

Get your fucking head out of your ass and stop frying steak you pussy bastard.

Ya got something to say to me, you can say it at http://uscrewu2.blogspot.com/

]]> By: asshat http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-58238 asshat Sat, 16 Jan 2010 04:45:42 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-58238 You're a toolbag poser... trying to be all manly man, but yet you suggested a specific wine to go with the steak. What the fuck are you? a god damn French? Drink beer you pussy. Also, it's motherfucking pneumonia not "ammonia" you dumb inbred piece of shit. Garlic is the way to make a steak. In fact, you should throw in so much garlic that it'll make your ass destroy the toilet when you shit... so much garlic that you fart all day long and have a fart that last for 20 seconds that'll change notes at least 5 times and scare the dog out of the room. A real steak should be on the motherfucking grill, not a pan. I want the god damn charcoal taste... so much of it that I'll get cancer from it. Nice try noob. You're a toolbag poser… trying to be all manly man, but yet you suggested a specific wine to go with the steak. What the fuck are you? a god damn French? Drink beer you pussy. Also, it's motherfucking pneumonia not "ammonia" you dumb inbred piece of shit.

Garlic is the way to make a steak. In fact, you should throw in so much garlic that it'll make your ass destroy the toilet when you shit… so much garlic that you fart all day long and have a fart that last for 20 seconds that'll change notes at least 5 times and scare the dog out of the room. A real steak should be on the motherfucking grill, not a pan. I want the god damn charcoal taste… so much of it that I'll get cancer from it. Nice try noob.

]]> By: danjrest http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-58030 danjrest Fri, 15 Jan 2010 21:10:22 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-58030 I am happy to read that I am not the only one turned on by this. I am happy to read that I am not the only one turned on by this.

]]> By: sprayhawk http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-47616 sprayhawk Wed, 16 Dec 2009 05:04:28 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-47616 This fucking rocks. I wrote a "how to" about finals after reading this. Not quite as concise, but hell, finals are fucking complicated. Check it out: http://www.sprayhawk.com/2009/12/15/how-to-deal-with-finals/ This fucking rocks. I wrote a "how to" about finals after reading this. Not quite as concise, but hell, finals are fucking complicated. Check it out: http://www.sprayhawk.com/2009/12/15/how-to-deal-with-finals/

]]> By: SteelyStan http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-42947 SteelyStan Thu, 03 Dec 2009 19:54:15 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-42947 Hey man, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Hey man, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

]]> By: AbeFroman http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-42662 AbeFroman Thu, 03 Dec 2009 04:08:21 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-42662 Actually, I believe it's a lamb chop. Dumbasses. Actually, I believe it's a lamb chop.

Dumbasses.

]]> By: dodo http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-41406 dodo Mon, 30 Nov 2009 16:52:41 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-41406 ok this is my 1st time so I'm just going to tell all you freaks how to REALLY cook a steak. No wisecracks. No bullshit. I'm serious Buy the cheapest slab you can find. London broil cheap - a 2 lb slab for 4 bucks. Throw it on a cutting board and slice thin slices at an angle. Dump some olive oil in a cast iron pan. Turn it on high. Throw in some garlic. Let that brown a little. Then throw in the mass of sliced steak and quickly stir it around. Throw on some salt and chunky ground pepper. Then throw the whole mess on a plate, scrape all the black oily shit from the pan on it, and eat it. I'm not shitting you this will be the best FUCKING steak you've ever eaten. ok this is my 1st time so I'm just going to tell all you freaks how to REALLY cook a steak. No wisecracks. No bullshit. I'm serious
Buy the cheapest slab you can find. London broil cheap – a 2 lb slab for 4 bucks.
Throw it on a cutting board and slice thin slices at an angle.
Dump some olive oil in a cast iron pan. Turn it on high.
Throw in some garlic. Let that brown a little.
Then throw in the mass of sliced steak and quickly stir it around.
Throw on some salt and chunky ground pepper.
Then throw the whole mess on a plate, scrape all the black oily shit from the pan on it, and eat it.
I'm not shitting you this will be the best FUCKING steak you've ever eaten.

]]> By: DirkVA http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-41287 DirkVA Fri, 27 Nov 2009 23:22:49 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-41287 Of course it comes to the same hot mansex in the end. Of course it comes to the same hot mansex in the end.

]]> By: locomoco http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-41045 locomoco Wed, 25 Nov 2009 06:02:04 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-41045 Great fucking recipe! I'm now both hungry and horny. One question though - is fucking tofurkey a good substitute for fucking steak for those of us who are vegetarians? Great fucking recipe! I'm now both hungry and horny. One question though – is fucking tofurkey a good substitute for fucking steak for those of us who are vegetarians?

]]> By: Carney http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-41041 Carney Wed, 25 Nov 2009 04:33:06 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-41041 You forgot to add the you know you are doing it right when the fire alarm goes off and someone asks if you are burning something. "No. I'm not fucking burning something. I'm cooking a fucking steak." You forgot to add the you know you are doing it right when the fire alarm goes off and someone asks if you are burning something.

"No. I'm not fucking burning something. I'm cooking a fucking steak."

]]> By: clarencerosario http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-40848 clarencerosario Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:33:02 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-40848 I'm so fucking pissed I missed this when it was originally posted. Fuck me running. I'm so fucking pissed I missed this when it was originally posted.

Fuck me running.

]]> By: clarencerosario http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-40845 clarencerosario Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:25:27 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-40845 You guys don't need to modify "Cali" and "zin" with "red". Because anyone that immediately associates zin with that pink shit is fucking retarded. You guys don't need to modify "Cali" and "zin" with "red".

Because anyone that immediately associates zin with that pink shit is fucking retarded.

]]> By: phlox http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-40679 phlox Tue, 24 Nov 2009 06:09:20 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-40679 Good Gravy! There are as many ways to cook a <b>great</b> steak as there are to skin a dead cat. I think you know where this is (FUCKING!)going... Good Gravy! There are as many ways to cook a great steak as there are to skin a dead cat.
I think you know where this is (FUCKING!)going…

]]> By: BoHan http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-40666 BoHan Tue, 24 Nov 2009 02:53:43 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-40666 I meant to reply to an earlier post, so fuck me. I meant to reply to an earlier post, so fuck me.

]]> By: greenleafrain http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-40462 greenleafrain Mon, 23 Nov 2009 19:11:31 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-40462 This is a bullshit way to cook a steak, when you're searing it you need vegetable oil with the salt and you want to sear the salt in on both sides, then you add COMPOUND BUTTER or I dont fucking care SMART BALANCE to the seared salty side of the meat because it soaks in and that makes it less like the texture of ukrainian salted fish. Then you make sure you that you did all this in a manly ass cast-iron skillet, which you stick in the oven for five minutes on broil, then you take it out with like 6 potholders so you dont get 3rd degree burns on your hand. This is a bullshit way to cook a steak, when you're searing it you need vegetable oil with the salt and you want to sear the salt in on both sides, then you add COMPOUND BUTTER or I dont fucking care SMART BALANCE to the seared salty side of the meat because it soaks in and that makes it less like the texture of ukrainian salted fish. Then you make sure you that you did all this in a manly ass cast-iron skillet, which you stick in the oven for five minutes on broil, then you take it out with like 6 potholders so you dont get 3rd degree burns on your hand.

]]> By: caitlinate http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-40337 caitlinate Mon, 23 Nov 2009 16:41:09 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-40337 Swoon. Swoon.

]]> By: Me http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-40290 Me Mon, 23 Nov 2009 02:06:31 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-40290 Actually, this is not a very good way to cook a steak. Actually, this is not a very good way to cook a steak.

]]> By: BoHan http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-40287 BoHan Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:59:59 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-40287 Fuck that. Who fucking cleans dishes? Fuck that. Who fucking cleans dishes?

]]> By: TerseNursePornstein http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak#comment-40219 TerseNursePornstein Sat, 21 Nov 2009 23:03:43 +0000 http://www.theawl.com/?p=19148#comment-40219 <i>Needs cigarette.</i> Needs cigarette.

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