Seriously – grilling your turkey, on a gas or charcoal grill, is a good way to go. But all of your problems can be prevented by simply using an indirect heat method,(turn outside burners on low and leave the center burner off or some such arrangement, set the oven thermometer on the grate above the "off" burners and close the hood. Come back in 15 minutes and get a reading of the therm. Adjust and play with it until you get a sense of what's going on in the grill with the hood closed. The therm in the hood is a double check but sometimes can get outta whack.

Once you know the temp of your grill aka – outdoor cooking oven – cook to temp of the bird not time on the dial of a clock. Insert a quality accurate oven safe meat thermometer in the breast meat – so it's not touching the bone and manage the cook until it reaches over 165F degrees. Then monitor and watch for about 170F – 175F and remove. Let rest on kitchen counter and the desired temps are 175-180 in dark meat and 170F in the breast.

Uh – but the cedar is a poor idea – better to not use anything than cedar. Use a branch from the apple tree or branches of rosemary bush. heck, you can even use rose bush stems (just make sure no pesticides on them!) And no need to put wet wood on the fire – wet wood makes steam and that softens skin, ruining the crispness most folks enjoy. You aren't smoking the turkey you are just adding a nice flavor enhancement – so toss on a handful of dry chips either on the coals or in an envelope of foil placed above the burners when you first place the turkey in the cooker. And then repeat about once every 45 minutes or so, when you quickly check the temp of the bird.

And thanks to Ken for suggesting the Big Easy oil-less infrared turkey "fryer" – safe, cheaper and equal to crispiness and moistness of a fried turkey.

I write the newsletter and web log called Sizzle on the Grill http://www.sizzleonthegrill.com and we've got lot's of tips, tricks and recipe ideas for preparing turkey on the grill or outdoor cookers. CB

Yes, bourbon is involved, and usually well before 10:00 (so good in the morning coffee). I add a small aluminum bread-pan between the coals and fill it with the closest available non-vile liquid and assorted seasonings. This adds some moisture and more flavor to the smoke. The wood chips DO need to be soaked, or they pretty much just burn up in a couple minutes.

I usually get a 20-25 pound bird fully cooked in about 3 & 1/2 hours. I recommend starting early as the bird will need to "rest" for a half hour or so before carving (now you cover it with foil) and you can always reheat if you have to, but carving pink, bloody turkey meat in front of your in-laws isn't going to gain you any points.

*You can pretty much fill in the joke on that one

This Thanksgiving, like every Thanksgiving, I will be roasting a BALD EAGLE.

Holy Lord it's delicious. It makes turkey taste like, uh, chicken. And you should see how beautiful it looks on the dining room table with its crispy golden brown skin glistening in the candle light (to say nothing of the brilliant white feathers and razor-sharp yellow beak of the head, which I traditionally cut off with my Bowie knife before cooking so I can re-attach it to the roasted bird for maximum patriotic impact)…