Quantcast
 

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

37

Hasbro Wants Children (For War and Cheap Labor)

GI HOFrom to time to time, a friend and I play the "Worst Press Release of the Day" game. Well, we have a winner today! It involves Dennis Quaid and Hasbro and the Marines and how for a shocking two-week long period, for every GI JOE: RISE OF COBRA toy you buy then, they will also donate one of these garbage toys to some small and poor child whose only hope of a future job is to... join the Marines! Or work in some overseas Hasbro plastic toy company.

Be a Hero and Help Deliver the Magic of the Holidays to Less Fortunate Children PAWTUCKET, R.I.–(Business Wire)– Over 14 million children live in poverty in the United States. They need a hero this holiday season and here to answer the call of duty is the G.I. JOE brand from Hasbro, Inc. (NYSE: HAS). Hasbro's G.I. JOE brand, the Marine Toys for Toys Foundation and actor Dennis Quaid are joining forces to help make this holiday season a little brighter for less fortunate children. For every G.I. JOE: The Rise of Cobra toy purchased at stores from November 11 through November 26 (Veteran's Day through Thanksgiving), Hasbro will donate a new toy (up to 300,000 toys with a minimum $3.99 value) to Toys for Tots. Actor Dennis Quaid, who plays 'GENERAL HAWK' in the 2009 blockbuster film G.I. JOE: The Rise of Cobra, from Paramount Pictures and Spyglass Entertainment, in association with Hasbro, will voice a national radio spot, due to premier on Veteran's Day, November 11, to help raise awareness for this campaign and the positive impact The U.S. Marines and Toys for Tots make on the lives of children.
Hoo boy. Where to start even!

37 Comments / Post A Comment

KarenUhOh
KarenUhOh (#19)

Dennis Quaid doesn't have anything down there, either.

Patrick M
Patrick M (#404)

Great Balls of Fire!

Abe Sauer
Abe Sauer (#148)

I know for a fact the Carrie Prejan juggernaut was sending out Today-show-appearence-related press releases today so this cannot be true. Sorry.

TheHonJudgeSmails

Yeah, I dunno. This seems at the very worst harmless, possibly even, I dunno, "charitable"?

Choire Sicha

Charity is great! Military recruiting of children: BLECHO. But then I am an old woman.

TheHonJudgeSmails

I don't think giving away G.I. Joe action figures can be considered military recruitment per se, but, then again, they made that movie "Toys" with Robin Williams, so what do I know?

Abe Sauer
Abe Sauer (#148)

Well, the military's efforts to "recruit" or reach kids are the "best kind" because they are always horrible and laughable. See Toys comment above. If you want to get enraged about something that contributes to pro-military propaganda, look no further than video games. Soemthing that the Army is VERY aware of
http://www.gamepolitics.com/2009/05/03/protesters-arrested-army039s-video-game-recruitment-center

Clarence Rosario

For every G.I. JOE: The Rise of Cobra toy purchased at stores from November 11 through November 26 (Veteran's Day through Thanksgiving), Hasbro will donate a new toy (up to 300,000 toys with a minimum $3.99 value) to Toys for Tots.

Yeah, I'm not seeing it. Toys For Tots is a worthy cause, and nowhere does it say they are donating 300,000 military-specific (or even GI Joe) toys as a result.

kitten_witawip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiIOzdUdsuk

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

Anyone else here not allowed to play with guns as a child? I am so glad my mother had a modicum of common sense.

TheHonJudgeSmails

Guns no. Toy guns were allowed, however. And I didn't kill anybody!

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

Perhaps this explains my adolescent Anglophilia?

LondonLee
LondonLee (#922)

Why? I played with guns too and I'm an Anglo.

Though GI Joe is called Action Man over there. Had one of those too.

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

Hm. I'm just wrong.

LondonLee
LondonLee (#922)

You thought we were running around hitting each other with crumpets didn't you?

slinkimalinki
slinkimalinki (#182)

"a hot crumpet burning my ears with shame", huh?

petejayhawk
petejayhawk (#1,249)

No, knives. Obvs.

Setec Astrology

Not allowed human-sized toy guns, either. I was, however, allowed to play with G.I. Joe action figures.

And I didn't kill anybody, either.

libmas
libmas (#231)

Dad was a developmental psychologist, marched in DC to protest Vietnam. Tried to restrict toy gun play. Older brother made a lovely wooden revolver in woodworking class and played assassin with his friends. I found sticks that approximated assault rifles and played war with my friends. Parents relented; we had oodles of toy guns. Neither one of us owns a gun today, nor have we shot anybody. And we had GI Joe action figures!

mathnet
mathnet (#27)

We weren't allowed to have water guns. They were water guns in the shapes of dolphins and stuff? Who looked like they were peeing.

kitten_witawip

That doll makes me want to kill innocent villagers and call Asians gooks while listening to Wagner.

IBentMyWookie
IBentMyWookie (#133)

Okay, who the hell did Townsend blow to get his own doll?

mathnet
mathnet (#27)

She do!

josh_speed
josh_speed (#97)

Had the same thought. Touché...

Ron Obvious
Ron Obvious (#351)

"G.I. Joe reporting for duty at Fort Fire Island, sir!" Gotta be an Army puke, cause the Crotch would never allow him to do the Flamey McFlamerson look.

ContainsHotLiquid

So for 15 days - a period which excludes the busiest portion of the gift-purchasing cycle - the purchase of a specific brand of movie tie-in merchandise will be matched with its cheapest related item (which, by mere coincidence, Hasbro is having a tough time selling anyway).

Also, don't forget to buy G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra© now out on DVD!

sox
sox (#652)

This point is my favorite one yet!

RickVigorous
RickVigorous (#214)

At least some future gay boys will have a Merry Christmas. Apart from the eyebrows, that Joe is HOT.

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

I wasn't going to be the first...

DorothyMantooth

And how 'bout that manly scar on his cheek? RUGGED!

kitten_witawip

I am thinking about buying it to go with the Sugar Daddy Ken doll. And then sewing matching Pucci print speedo/caftan ensembles for them.

slinkimalinki
slinkimalinki (#182)

really? you think he couldn't have done better than that piss-yellow hair? i guess it's hard to find a good hairdresser in the jungle, but there's no excuse for shitty home bleach jobs.

slinkimalinki
slinkimalinki (#182)

furthermore, dude has a goitre.

Baboleen
Baboleen (#1,430)

This doll looks like an albino black dude.

hman
hman (#53)

Palm Beach Kenneth is quivering in his white shoes!

LondonLee
LondonLee (#922)

It looks like the footballer Djibril Cissé

Post a Comment

You must be logged-in to post a comment.

Login To Your Account