Wow. Everyone drop everything and recognize game because this dude is a Russian astronaut blogging from SPACE. I mean, honestly, what's the point of even trying to go there? Dude has escaped velocity and WEARS MORPHEUS GLASSES. He punks all of us but makes a goddamn tourist of NASA's Mike Massimino's Twitter account with its dullsville numbers and très terrestrial dispatches. I mean, unless your narrow behind is getting atrophied because there is no gravity where you're standing you're just some dude in Texas. You're only as good as your last space tweet, bruh. Sorry. Plus, this other guy's funny in that way foreign humor is broad as fuck. As in "general". Not like "female" because those hoes are never funny.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
10
The Awl: zero-gravity edition. Get Richard Branson on the line..
Or Richard Garriott!
"Dude has escaped velocity..."
Not to be THAT dude, but he really escaped gravity, using velocity. Escaping velocity just requires sitting still (I'm doing it right now!).
Sorry, I can't help it, I went to space camp.
TELL ME EVERYTHING.
Well, start here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Escape_velocity
Then get high and consider the fact that black holes aren't actually holes, but objects so dense that their escape velocity is greater than the speed of light. THAT'S CRAZY.
If I get high and think about that, I may start bleeding out of my ears.
Escape velocity is a fucking myth. As long as you keep moving you'll get out of orbit, and it's easier and easier to move the farther you get away. Escape velocity is the instantaneous velocity you need at the surface of the Earth. Hydrogen leaves Earth all the time without doing anything but sitting there.
I can not find it on youtube but the BBC show "Being Neil Armstrong" had an amazing piece of film shot by Armstrong showing an earlier rocket literally punching a whole in the sky. His astronaut only area vantage point, being better than any regular cameraman's, got the shot. I had thought it just a figure of speech up until then.
I don't think those are Morpheus Glasses Mary, I think this man has been beyond the Event Horizon.
That is one wicked space bong.