Man, I am so the embarrassed emoticon in the face right now because this Dakota Fanning Teen Vogue shoot makes me feel spectacularly gonzo in the crotch. I KNOOOOOW. I'm SORRY but I CAN'T HELP IT because I don't think it even matters if you're a dirty old man or not because her freakshow precocious eyes accuse you of thinking things and then forgives you and the whole thing makes me feel filthy.
ESPECIALLY because: animal print. I mean, can a cub be a cougar?!! IDK! So confused. She sort of looks like Madonna in those old Versace ads where she looks like she'd smell of ylang ylang and 982734982374983 kinds of semen. Oh man, now I'm picturing her swiveling around in a chair REALLY SLOWLY in a white sleeveless turtleneck mini dress and everyone knows I hate when turtlenecks have no sleeves. MAKE IT STOP.
THAT IS A SHARON STONE LOOK YOU ARE SO RIGHT SO WRONG
Roman isn't around, is he?
She's too old for him.
I'll make it stop, Mary.
Just hide your eyes.
It's all cool. She's totally legal now.
She's now going to go off into weird-grown-up-child-star land. Like, remember when the web had all those gross Olsen Twins countdown to 18 sites? Seems quite bizarre in retrospect.
I guess it was inevitable that Dakota morphed from cute cheerleader to prematurely aged vaguely whorish starlet...did it have to be within a week?!?
How is she vaguely whorish? Misogynist much?
Always.
If I didn't read the words, I would have no idea it was Dakota Fanning. I....I don't know what to think, except I'm getting old.
I know! It seems like it's been forever since she was the little girl in Interview With the Vampire, right?
We really shoulda seen this coming after her star turn in Little Miss Sunshine, though.
Hey, come on Mary, give us a link! I wanna feel dirty, too.
http://www.teenvogue.com/industry/coverlook/2009/11/dakota-fanning-cover-shoot-photos
Yep, I looked that up on my own. Now I need to go shower away the creepy.
My favorite part is the empty thought balloons. I love cartoons!
She looks like a miniaturized Kate Hudson. Doesn't A-rod have a son...?
She is cute--and she doesn't have that boring WonderBread look she had when was a kid. Now if she looks like Lohan at 21 I'ma be disappointed. In other lechery news, when does that hot werewolf boy, Taylor Lautner, turn 18 already?
Right!?
the thing about lilo is that she has mardi gras tits so the sexualizing is on the nose (motorboat!) and out in the open, the disgusto factor with D. Fan is that SHE LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE KID but if you zoom in her pupils are actually tiny shadow puppets engaged in the nastiest orgy EVER and once you see that you feel like you went looking for it. Also, Taylor is SO cute and turns 18 in Feb. My iCal sez so.
Someone give her a cigarette already.
OMG she so smokes silk cut 100s.
when is open swim in your brain? cause I'm wearing trunks.
Chris Hansen and Humbert Humbert In Death Struggle For Final Newsstand Copy
Those eyes are digitally enhanced, right?
So, when will Hollywood tell her she is not "movie star hot"?
I want to hear her resulting conniption. She has some evil inside; I bet she can rip off a tirade that would make C. Bale blush.
Depends on whether or not she can act.
Or maybe she'll be just fine.
Like Jodie, Meryl, Jennifer & Kate.
Nah.
Why not?
Look at SJP. If there's anyone who cotradicts the "movie star hot" theory, it's her.
After I read this:
"Man, I am so the embarrassed emoticon in the face right now because this Dakota Fanning Teen Vogue shoot makes me feel spectacularly gonzo in the crotch."
I thought it was Choire (def not Balk), and was confused.
How could there have been doubt? Only one known human is syntactically capable of "I am so the embarrassed emoticon in the face" and syntax trumps any kind of spectacularly gonzo feats of gender identity.
I'm still calling for the Friday 'mystery' last post were the author is revealed on Monday.
oooh, i like!
I thought the same thing, it was a real mind-teaser. But then I scrolled to Mary HK and the world righted itself.
This is not the kind of writing that will get you hired by the TV pushers. You come girl!
This sort of tarnishes my memories of "Hounddog".
2 words - Puffy. Nipples.
Who wants to see a Little Darlings remake?
ugh you just made me feel the sleaziest i've felt in years
you're welcome.
OMG she's turned into Amanda Seyfried!
OMG I just admitted to knowing who Amanda Seyfried is!
Without the hyperthyroid, though.
The tragedy is that her name is cute on a little kid, but really really slutty on an adult.
I have no problem with either.
Let's hear it for Dakota fellas!! - remember $2 well drinks allllll night long!
/Cues Def Leopard song
Precisely.
i'm with you, mary, sleeveless turtlenecks are heinous. especially white ones (though they almost have to be white, right? do they come in any other colours?)
yes. maroon and also forest green.
For sure the garment they give you to wear in Hell is a shrimp-coloured sleeveless turtleneck.
Dakota, Montana, it's all the same.
Not sure I get it. She looks like every other striving CPA?