Thursday, November 19th, 2009
31

Cordless Drills: Better Just To Look At

milwaukee drillGod bless Popular Mechanics. Here's how they start their latest consumer report, '7 Small Drills Bore It Out: Tool Comparison Test':

"How much cordless drill do you need? Probably not as much as you think."

As much as I think? I have no thoughts at all about how much cordless drill I need. In fact, I'm having a little trouble understanding the question. (Are we talking pounds? Numbers? I need three pounds of cordless drill? I need cordless drill to a factor of seven?) The only time I ever used a cordless drill-one that a contractor once bought, and charged me for, and so then left at my place-I mangled the door to my kid's room so badly, I had to hire a different contractor to come install a new one. I am not to touch machines like that. Why am I reading Popular Mechanics, then? Because they do their thing in a way that's accessible and enjoyable even to stupid sissies those less mechanically inclined. For example, soon enough in the Tool Comparison piece, they've explained that they're testing seven brands of small battery-driven drills in two categories: 1) The number of 2-inch screws each can screw into drywall before giving out. 2) The number of 5/8-inch holes each can bore into a plank of wood before giving out. There's a handy color-coordinated legend to differentiate, and they give a short write-up on each.

And cordless drills are awesome looking! They look more like "Star Trek" phaser guns than pretty much anything else on the planet.
phaser

The winner of the test, the Milwaukee M12 2410-20, is particularly handsome, with an snazzy, lightning-bolt logo in a Teutonic font very similar to that of Miller High Life beer.
milwaukee tools

To my mind, the Miller High Life logo is perhaps the nicest in the history of American marketing design.
miller

Especially if you count the lovely lady tippler sitting in the moon.

miller girl

31 Comments / Post A Comment

KenWheaton (#401)

They tried to bring the Girl in the Moon back as a marketing bit a couple years ago. Didn't work.

Peteykins (#1,916)

…as a marketing bit…

You made a drill pun! Well done.

Flashman (#418)

Boring

iplaudius (#1,066)

Well, how much torque do you think you need?

Some people need to bore through masonry, but you might just need to drill the juice out of a young Thai coconut, if you get me.

Bittersweet (#765)

Must…get…mind…out…of…gutter…

SquarePeg (#1,098)

Needs a, "Drill Baby, Drill" tag.

BoHan (#29)

I'll just stick with my corded DeWalt. I've never found a Cordless Drill that doesn't leave me when I need it most. If you want a real thrill borrow a DeWalt Hammer drill and use it on 60 year old hardened concrete. It will pound the shit out of you with the kickback, let alone all the shards and sparks flying everywhere. More fun than tackle football I say.

You're welcome to borrow my Ryobi gas-powered impact drill. Drill into anything, not for the faint of heart.

BoHan (#29)

Holy cow! That sounds like strapping on C4 and playing "Hurt Locker." Cool. I love power tools.

gregorg (#30)

oy, my answer is always "more than I thought." I bought my cordless DeWalt because the art handler had one once. turns out that's all a charge is ever good for: hanging one lousy picture.

BoHan (#29)

Didn't you just feel limp-wristed? Man, cordless drills make anyone look pussy-whipped.

Maevemealone (#968)

That girl in the moon is just another Halloween costume nobody would ever get… Aside from that, are there no more men in the world who are handy with tools? I am just not impressed by this new "hire someone to fix it or just buy a new one" generation of males. No offense to the author, etc.

HiredGoons (#603)

One of my friends went as the St. Pauli girl one year.

Oh, how I laughed…

Maevemealone (#968)

I bet she wasn't mistaken for a pirate though. Miller Moon Girl is definitely rocking a mexican pirate vibe and I'm over pirates.

HiredGoons (#603)

The nice part about not having a drill is the sweaty repair men in your apartment, easily tempted with libations.

gregorg (#30)

cerveza?

mathnet (#27)

Would somebody please buy me one of these for Christmas because it is the most helpful accessory EVAR: http://www.target.com/Tool-Band-Magnetic-Arm-Band/dp/B000ICT8OY

Maevemealone (#968)

If they made that into a bra, I would find it much more handy for overhead fixes.

mathnet (#27)

OK so I was thinking? While I watched this commercial? With the voiceover-but-you-never-see-him Billy Mays, R.I.P.? That it would be awesome if somebody made clothes AND BRAS with magnetic closures. Like basically you buy some fabric and put magnets in it and people can just wear it in their own super personal style by just WRAPPING it or DRAPING it or whatevers HOWEVER I WANT!

Maevemealone (#968)

Boys and japanese game shows would just start carrying around the negative poled magnets and making girls clothes fall off. I agree on the bra magnets though, that would be easier for everyone.

mathnet (#27)

Ha! True. Plus metal detectors. :( Back to the drawing board!

There's always this

mathnet (#27)

W O W

Will you make fun of me if I order one?

Not only will I not make fun of you, if you actually lived here (MOVE HERE!), I would insist that you let me borrow it!

Maevemealone (#968)

Seriously, you're needed here.

CordlessDrill (#2,263)

Ya gotta admit Popular Mechanics knows their stuff when it comes to tools or just about anything for that matter.

Flashman (#418)

I've never understood why I should value the opinions of Popular Mechanics over those of the Perhaps more introverted but still just as skilled Mechanics.

Flashman (#418)

The design of the Milwaukee drill makes it look as if it's glowing red hot and exploding – not things you'd really want it to start doing.

BoHan (#29)

Don't buy a hammer drill. It does glow and look to explode. The bit turns red as it gets angry. Add a gas engine and it will suck in all your home furnishings and than collapse into a black hole. Mary Choi should really be writing power tool reviews. They require that aggressive wordplay.

Dave Bry (#422)

Unless you were firing it at Klingons.

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