Cooking the Books, with your host Ms. Emily Gould, was shot and edited by Val Temple. This week's guest, Bennett Madison, is the author of The Blonde of the Joke, which is about "skanky teen shoplifters searching for the Holy Grail at a dying suburban shopping mall." Seriously, it is!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
69
OMG you did it! You booked Elisabeth Moss!
I really don't see it -- my fivehead, for one thing -- but I'll take anything that isn't macaulay culkin
You're both lovely. http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/westwing/images/thumb/4/46/ElisabethMoss.jpg/250px-ElisabethMoss.jpg
I see some Alicia Silverstone.
Also a little Heather Graham?
I had forGOTTEN about the scienTOLogy!
Prettier and not a scientologist. Emily ftw.
CinnaBUN, I do believe--rhymes with cinnamon.
As it turns out, I have some expertise in this matter, as there is an actual mall-based Cinnabon franchise in my family. Therefore, I can testify that CinnaBON is proper but CinnaBUN is accepted.
I would like to hear more about your family!
Now that's Americana.
Fortunately I barely remember anything! So: no memoir!
Haybale.
Something to fall back on, if need be.
I think this is an example of products and businesses Americans refuse to call by their proper name.
They were going on last night on CBC radio about how hard it is to pronounce Worcestershire sauce, I mean come on, how hard... oh, actually, now that I write it out, maybe that is a tricky one... anyway the story was about how weird and secret is the recipe for W-sauce. It's an official secret of the British crown. But somebody just found out that it includes cloves!
I'm not sure whether to watch Emily and Bennett, or William Shakespeare and Stevie Nicks instead.
TOO MANY FACES.
Distracting, yes, but the right kind of clever.
Serious points for the "Prose Before Hoes" shirt, Emily. That's fantastic.
This might make Keith Gessen's head explode, so high five.
No, his head is intact. And he is going to cook pizza on his episode, probably.
I would add a smidge of pot to that recipie.
Awesome. I kid.
I CAN'T WAIT. (That is sincere. Actually I'm excited!)
Dying to see the episode with Cormac McCarthy.
It'll just be a rerun of the one with Ken Layne.
They'll be roasting a baby.
These recipes are known to all the world. The world is construed out of blood and nothing else but blood. Lunch is the condition of existence and life is but an emanation thereof. What is constant in history is greed and foolishness and a love of blood pudding. Before man was, war waited for him. War and lunch. The chicken's neck had been broken and her head hung straight down and it flopped over strangely when we let him onto the pan. The jars beyond the spice rack were reflected grayly in the pools of water in the sink and the partly eaten jerky lay in the sauce with its hindquarters missing like something from a chromo of terrific war. The idea that man can be understood is an illusion. All horses possess one soul. What the eaten chicken knows man cannot know.
Excellent. Gold Star.
OMFG
that was exciting. also, RIGHT?
"You're not gonna make it big enough if you don't push on it."
"It's good to slop it on."
Also, Stevie Nicks & Shakespeare. Nice.
I had a feeling you would pick up on that! Also, a real marble worktop? Sigh.
Heehee! The Editors (in their Infinite Wisdom) didn't make me Commenter 69 for nothin'!
And the marble worktop? Yeah, I totally sighed.
Oh no way, it's some kind of cheesy formica.
that boy is hot
ch'yuh.
Also: PANDA EXPRESS = LOL
Can we please not be pussies when it comes to measuring?
Emily has great 'cooking show' hands.
I resuscitated my long-dormant commenter account here because OMFG Bennett, you stole my heart! You had me at that first, airily lispy "Tsinnabon" and proceeded to win my undying adoration with your pastry-crafting skills. Adurrable.
If you go for equally sissyish and neurotic 28-year-old hipster street-trash, you can cook my books any time you like. I dig cooking too. Let's practice every recipe in Mark Bittman's "How To Cook Everything," preferably naked.
I wrote him an email a long time ago, simply because he was young-ish and published, and so I was like, "HOW DID YOU ACCOMPLISH THIS??" He basically said "I sold the fuck out." I have applied this to various sectors of my life.
i really do not remember saying that! but the new book is my non-sellout one, so you should get it.
also note to future sell-outs: make sure your price is high enough. :(
Well, yeah. Book deals are totes sexy â€" provided it doesn't go to one's head â€" but in this case that's just gravy. I'd still hit it even if he were an unemployed, underfed, freelancey hobo. Like myself.
Missy Elliott is, as always, apposite: "Give ya some, some a this Cinnabon."
And LOL, listen to me bringing anonymous-commenter stalker-flirtation as if the subject weren't even, so to speak, in the room.
Mercy. This is why not drinking whiskey before 5pm is a well established social norm.
You didn't use profanity, but sell-out was your term, not mine! And I will put your book on my radar, sir.
My Lemon-Blueberry "magic" cookies are quite popular.
Ooh, I love this new feature!
Totes. totes.
Prose before hos!!! YAY!!!!
I want to watch this, but you need a sound guy.
*Coughs, looks around, extends his fancy Edirol....*
What, you didn't like the sound quality of the on-board mic on my shitty camera? Gasp. *Avoids cough, accepts offer*
OMG, it's Marcel from Top Chef! Looks like he's not such a bad guy after all ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5LcBdbH8bo
I don’t go to Cinnabon anymore. Last time I went near one MSNBC were interviewing people there on how Obama was doing on the economy.
Since then I have been severely lacking in overly sweet cinnamon-y things to go and throw up in public restrooms. But...possibly a solution here?
Cooking with Emily while talking about use of the word "fuck"? And frosting?? I want to go to there.
Can you hear me weeping from Vancouver?
NO, YOU CAN'T. IT'S TOO FAR AWAY. HENCE THE WEEPING.
My question is: how does the Gould/Madison cinnabon compare to the AIRPORT cinnabons? As in, do they make you jittery and regretful within in seconds of the hallucinatory sugar high? I feel like Mall Cinabons have a different backlash: a tummy ache and giddiness after interacting with goths. Either way, this feature is ...omg..here we go.. DELISH.
BENNET! YAY!
You know, I had an Auntie Anne's pretzel in O'Hare after a series of terrible flying related events, and it was seemingly literally the most toothsome thing ever to pass through my mouth. I had one in the mall, thinking I would again call upon the messiah and ... it was like a completely different Aunt. THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE.
I'd like to touch HIS CinnaBUNS.
I freaking love this.
And yes, Bennett is way too young for me, but I have a crush nonetheless.
The Stevie Nicks t-shirt is a bit Look At That Fucking Hipster is it not?
My stomach says...whatever.
Pssh, and you say you're not a hater!
Nah. Just kidding.
When do we get Thomas Pynchon?
He's adorbs!
It is time to retable the "Cinnabons as pay" discussion. You may not have capital, but you have now provided evidence of labor.
They're awesome with spelt flour too.
Emily beats the shit out of Annabelle Gurwitch with one whisk tied behind her back.