The New York Times continues its inexplicable war against the phrase "no problem," which we noted last week. Asked an apparently very bored reader of the Styles section, to the Social Q's column: "Have you noticed that young people are substituting the phrase 'no problem' for 'you're welcome'?" The useless answer: "Take a common transaction: I pass you the milk. You thank me. I reply: 'No problem.' Well, of course it's not a problem! It's a common courtesy." Oh, these young people and their highly offensive slang!
Monday, November 30, 2009
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anyone who reads the Style section and comments has a 'crisis of credibility'. Are they quoting from Emily Post as they sit disdain the youth of America?
Andy Rooney is winning the culture war.
"You're welcome"? Of course I'm welcome. I live here. Just give me the damn milk and shut up about it.
SEE THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN. People interpreting expressions they dislike literally, and offering equally stupid-if-literal substitutes have no business writing in to etiquette columns. Or drinking my milk.
When did "no worries" cross the pond? I hear it more and more.
I blame Crocodile Dundee.
My boss says that. I figured it was one of those weird Marine things.
I say "no worries," I think probably because my boyfriend says it, and I assume that he picked it up when he lived in Australia for a semester before we met.
It rolls off the tongue so much more easily than "no problem," which makes it handy in quick exchanges.
Fuck yes it's a problem.
George Carlin was already griping about this over a decade ago. You'd think the Times would have its finger a bit more on the pulse of aging hipster sentiment.
I wish restaurant servers would just stick with 'eat it.'
I just can't believe people would suggest "my pleasure" as a substitute. Do you think I pop a boner every time I pass you the milk? Are you stupid?
The correct answer to someone who questions your "no problem" is "What the fuck is wrong with you? Fuck you.". I think the only person I trust with matters of etiquette (Dan Savage) would either approve or not give a damn.
I actually got self conscious about this at work after reading the first wave of hate in the Times and so I started testing out "you're welcome" instead.
And I think it ended up coming across as even MORE passive aggressive! Which is great and exactly what I needed because I had really been feeling like I'd hit a plateau.
More passive-aggressive? Joy! I'm switching back.
I've actually always had way more of a problem with "you're welcome" than with "no problem." (Related to my cringing whenever someone says, "I love you, too"? Evs. I have issues.
So I always say, "Of course!" or "Sure!" But maybe that's passive-aggressive, too??
"I love you, too?"
Hm, makes sense. I guess. I just always heard that as "youtube."
I prefer "no problem" to "sure," which inexplicably I find myself saying.
I go with 'my pleasure' and it seems to be a big hit.
do you whisper it?
UM I do... now.*
*whispered.
I say "de nada", but what I secretly mean is that whomever I'm addressing is nothing.
from Snatch
Brick Top: "I want to use the pikey."
Turkish: "All right. Of course."
Brick Top: "Of course, fucking 'of course.'"
When will the Times take on the scourge of people saying "I'm good" instead of "No thank you"? When, I ask?
Worse: Responding with "I'm good" when one disingenuously asks "How are you?".
PET PEEVE!!!
Oh god, that's another thing I find myself saying even though I hate it. I should really kill myself.
Also, what's up with "I'm straight" for "I'm good"?
So gay.
That's a thing?
When I see the computer desktop of "no problem" users it
inexplicably has a large percentage of icons with skull and crossbones and death heads. I don't think this correlation has been discussed in the mainstream press.
I don't think I've ever said "no problem." It's just one of those colloquialism that's pushed on ESLers to sound native. It just sounds too try-hard immigrantish.
Someday I hope to speak Immigrantish fluenty.
I also hope to speak English fluently*.
I'm just happy someone considers me a "young person."
("No problem" is a genX thing, right? When did they address "Like, gag me with a spoon," last year?
Whatever.
I hate all follow-up to the "thank you". Why can't it end there?
Please pass the milk.
Here you are.
Thanks.
[END]
"No problem" and ESLers was actually a plot point in 1993's talking-baby tour de force Look Who's Talking, starring Goldie Hawn and John Travolta, so I think your point may be stale by now - that's time enough for an ESL-only expression to get back in favour, and back out, or something.
Then again I was 5 and only ever saw the movie dubbed in French so what the fuck do I know. Better fire up µtorrent and watch it again tonight, i'll let you know.
That was for Mary Choi. I'm stalking you. Get used to it.
It was Kirstie Alley, not Goldie Hawn. Oh Lord the shaaaaaaame that I know this. I could have used those brain cells for something really good once.
Damn you, you made me go back to IMDB and realise it was the sequel that came out in 1993. That's valuable time I could have wasted less depressingly reading the NYT dining section. And I feel dumb, too.
The one true answer is "No sweat."
Whoever this Times-commenting crusader is he'll not be satisfied with anything less than the full Arabic: "La shokran ala wajib" (please forgive my Maghrebi transcription, you MSA speakers), which literally means "No thanks for duty" implying that you, the citizen, is beholden to him, the Times jihadist, by bonds forged deep in the workshop of feudal vassalage. Fuck him. Fuck him straight to hell.
Since this battle began I've started saying "no problem" to those of the other generation much more often, as politely as possible. They need to learn that we mean no harm by it! Just this morning I held a door for a lady with a precarious pushcart, and I said it several times. There's no way to sarcastically hold a door for a stranger who's struggling, so I can't see how she could possibly take it the wrong way. So, call to arms, youngs! Let's say "no problem" whilst being very obviously polite and kind. Maybe we'll win some of them over. Or at least get some of them to stop writing about how nasty we are in the comments of the Times.