"A deadly outbreak of E. coli has been traced to a large producer of ground beef that stopped testing its ingredients years ago under pressure from beef suppliers."
Friday, November 13, 2009
41
Man, first you get all "down with the drug companies and land usurpers" and now you're going to ruin my lunch.
Yeah, today is all like Righteous Outrage Day at The Awl...
The solution to eating beef is to only eat chunks of it, because e. coli loves surface area, and ground beef is ALL surface area.
But both industrial meat production and people who refuse to contemplate the origins of their food are equally disappointing.
Grind your own beef at home (I've got a meat grinder I'm willing to share if anyone in the West Village wants to bring their chuck by...) and NEVER order a burger medium or medium rare.
Grinding my own meat sounds great and very Martha until I have to clean the damn grinder.
A burger better done than medium is a burger not worth eating. Fact.
Jesus. Next it's going to be a sermon about booze.
Make Balk write it.
Please don't start getting down on oral sodomy, or you'll have lost at least one reader.
Never! We have a STRONG political preference in favor of oral sodomy.
God. You Republicans and your pecadillos.
Ha, but did you know Charles Pfizer invented oral sodomy at the Brooklyn Pfizer plant in Williamsburg in 1850!
Yes, but only using meat from cows that smoke.
And drink beer.
A great argument to buy local, from farmers you know and trust. As for those of you in NY, where things just aren't around locally, don't you all drink enough booze to kill that shit off anyways?
Actually you'd be surprised how much local produce and meat you can find in New York. You just have to be willing to spend like 8% of your income on food, as opposed to 5% or something.
Not only that, I've found prices on local and organic produce sometimes actually lower in NYC than the burbs.
Which eats into your drinking and smoking funds like e. coli in your intestines! That is why I don't live in the big city.
Remember the last big e. coli outbreak, and how it was in spinach?
So, are you really still eating vegetables?
And tomatoes, and peanut butter, and raw cookie dough. Delicious, delicious raw cookie dough.
Seriously, though, that cow can't be used for consumption, looks like it will be going to the rendering plant. Laundry detergent for all!
I need some glue, where's a horsie?
I don't eat any of that garbage. SPINACH? Fuck spinach!
E.coli actually plays a functioning role in my raw cookie dough-only diet, as it perfectly offsets the weight gain.
Oh man, the hamburgers at Henry Social in Brooklyn are so good.
WAIT! I have heard this. Describe.
Henry Social? I meant Henry Public. It must have been conflated with Brooklyn Social in my mind.
Anyway...juicy, flavorful, on a soft brioche that is firm enough to contain the juices without getting soggy, great cheddar cheese, no other fixin's to distract you from the experience. Their cocktails are also delish.
NOM. I love brioche. Thems my jam. DuMont and Landmarc have bomb buns so this is up my alley. Thank you. E.coli schmeecoli.
I'm glad they've cared enough to plant that palmetto there.
Some nice bright foliage can really brighten up a killing yard
Meep
I will keep eating supermarket hamburger, and I will buy extra A-1 Sauce to mask the taste of the E. Coli.
Funny story - well, not so much funny as true.
There was a slaughter house down road from my house growing up - we lived near a farm, in Vermont, 'nuff said.
One day one of the cows broke out of said slaughter house and proceeded to make it's way down the (rather busy) rural route that our house was near (I lost a lot of cats and dogs and had my very own Pet Cemetary!).
Anyway, about 30 yards from our door, the cow got hit and killed.
By a milk truck.
Why would you ever leave?
How did you ever get out?
Dude, I was soo rooting for the cow...
So "Night of the Cow" was a true story?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyOKubW6JZU
There is also a ghost cow called 'The Midnight Cow' that met a similar fate!
Also: you can't get there from here, young fella'.
And *that*, Alanis Morrisette, is ironic. (And sad...poor Bessie.)
Did you bury the cow in the Pet Cemetary and get a cranky zombie cow a few days later?
or does that only work in Maine?
Its. Damn.
I had my first cheeseburger in six months last night. Medium rare. I've always had great timing like that.
Gristedes markets a reduced-coli cottage cheese.
Eat all the burgers you want - e.coli's a natural laxative.
Word. Only the old and sick die from E coli poisoning (and a few random outliers that God wanted to hit with a truck but didn't have the energy).