Yes, More Bear!
Here's a video that ties together so many of the day's themes thus far: Pennsylvania, bears, excessive reliance on videos, and secret Swedish cities of woodworking lesbians. (Okay, not that last one, but I really love that story.) Anyway, two things: One, do not keep wild animals in your home, because they will kill you, and, two, Fox News is biting my bear beat. Don't make me get all Summer of Death on your ass, Murdoch.
Calvin DuBrock could bore the paint off an Amish barn. It was bear attack man! Say fuck! at least once or make an obscene gesture or something…
"Wild bears are wild bears."
"There is a reason they are kept behind bars." Insert prison joke here.
Did I detect a certain hopefulness when the first newscaster asked if bears can ever be domesticated? Sounds like someone still REALLY wants a pet grizzly.
"She stepped in to feed the bear and something went terribly wrong". Sorry, what went wrong? She fed the bear, right? In fact, here in Alaska we call this kind of activity, "feeding the bears". Usually this happens when ignorant or inexperienced hikers attempt to trek through bear country with nothing to defend themselves but a bologna and cheese sandwich. It also applies to anyone stupid enough to get within arms reach of any bear, caged or not. Remember Binky the Polar Bear?
something went wrong=did not also provide him with cigarettes and bourbon.
"The bear goes down, there are no winners?" Think again!