Quantcast
 

Friday, October 23, 2009

75

Top Five Questions About This Weekend

I'M A PRETTY BEE! I'M A BEEEEEE!1. Will I put together a Halloween costume? And if so, will it involve an age-appropriate amount of fabric and/or racism? (Yes. Age-appropriate racism.)
2. Am I ever going to finish the Lorrie Moore book that came out like a month ago?
3. Am I ever going to make myself read that must-read New Yorker article on Texas executions that came out like a month ago?
4. Am I going to be able to resist seeing Saw VI again?
5. On Monday, am I going to read New York mag's investigative essay-report into their own popular Sex Diary feature? Answer: Yes, I am, because it is written by Wesley Yang. But that doesn't mean I'll like myself for it.

And you? Bored this weekend? Only boring people are bored! Here are the contributions of our fine columnists from this week, give 'em a whirl! Or okay, don't! You think I care? I DON'T CARE. Leave me alone! I have feelings too, you know. Fucker. Wait, I didn't meant it. Come back, guys... You guys?

75 Comments / Post A Comment

Tuna Surprise
Tuna Surprise (#573)

I plan to spend all weekend adding comments to this post in hopes of becoming The Awl evening/weekend editor.

#openmicnights, #openbeerbottlenights, #slavelabor, #sad

Bucko
Bucko (#1,599)

#breathlessly_waiting

NicFit
NicFit (#616)

Dude, weekend = sex, drugs and pounding house music.

NicFit
NicFit (#616)

sorry: #sex, #drugs, #poundinghousemusic

Maevemealone
Maevemealone (#968)

#UNTZUNTZUNTZUNTZ

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

#Grandmother's birthday in New Jersey

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

(I know you're all jealoussssss).

Bucko
Bucko (#1,599)

Troll says, what?

Bucko
Bucko (#1,599)

Troll leaves a link to a video about slapping gay children (avec music)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zsxQIL8oik

brent_cox
brent_cox (#40)

I finally got to the New Yorker article last week and recommend it, unless you want to have a nice weekend.

Flashman
Flashman (#418)

Yeah, and once you're finished with that, this week's issue is an absolute belter: Lethem, SFJ, Lane on Antichrist, and an article on drone-killing that reminds us that the US under Obama remains as fundamentally amoral (I won't say evil) as it ever was with that last guy!
Caption contest's a bit of a dud though.

sox
sox (#652)

HK Choi is not a columnist?

Choire Sicha

She's actually one above a columnist. She's a paladin!

Flashman
Flashman (#418)

What's her alignment?
'Chaotic Neutral' I'd guess.

Tulletilsynet
Tulletilsynet (#333)

Paladinissima.

Natasha Vargas-Cooper

Mary is a shapeshifter.

Rod T
Rod T (#33)

The only hash I care about? http://www.420magazine.com/forums/how-videos/69892-how-smoke-hash.html

Can I ask a question, without answering the overlord's? WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THE BIRTHDAY PARTIES?

Choire Sicha

OH MY GOD, you too?? It is nuts. It has been three weeks of birthdays. It is making me hallucinate.

HeyThatsMyBike

I'm told this is because of New Year's/the holidays being a popular time for bareback fucking.

roithamer
roithamer (#661)

Just read this week's Peter Hessler instead - easy yet totally deep.

Maevemealone
Maevemealone (#968)

#drinking, #making betty draper costume!

IBentMyWookie
IBentMyWookie (#133)

Fancy Betty or Housework Betty?

IBentMyWookie
IBentMyWookie (#133)

and zOMG get your shortest friend to dress up as Sally and glare at you all night.

mathnet
mathnet (#27)

OMG YOU HAVE SOLVED PROBLEM #1! Choire. All you need to do is wear the new Brooks Brothers suit that you ran out and bought last week. (Just don't go to any of the same Halloween parties as Balk because he also bought one on the double.)

Maevemealone
Maevemealone (#968)

Fancy Betty! With the baby, booze and "Mommy's little helpers" bottle in my handbag, next to the smokes. I want it to be a group idea but nobody else fits the theme! Unless I can get that one quiet smart friend to be Peggy...

ljnd
ljnd (#86)

I am trying to get my kid to wear her fedora, carry a glass of apple juice on the rocks, and a Pixie Stick to smoke, and go as "Ron Caper". She does it around the house all the time. But she won't do it in front of her friends.

Maevemealone
Maevemealone (#968)

I got in some trouble with my building the ONE year I ever stayed home to give out treats. I hit up Economy Candy and got tons of candy cigarettes! Later that night, my doorman saw me and said "Are you the one giving out candy cigarettes?" Yeah! Why? Oh....

mathnet
mathnet (#27)

I really miss calling it The Pound Sign. :(

sox
sox (#652)

#bringbackThePoundSign

Bucko
Bucko (#1,599)

It's an octothorpe damnit.

Flashman
Flashman (#418)

For me and my friends, the 'hash sign' means holding your fists as if you're pressing two knife blades together.

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

Wow, the 'Blind Melon' chick really blossomed.

Good for her!

ljnd
ljnd (#86)

OMG, Blind Melon. Massive, massive earworm.

cherrispryte
cherrispryte (#444)

#gradschoolmidterms, #partyfullofstrangers, #findingafuckingnewjobcausethisoneskillingme

sox
sox (#652)

#workingovertime, #thirddatedoesthatmeanwe'regonna...?! #danceinmypants, #cleanoutthecar (no, that last one is not related to the second two.)

andj
andj (#1,074)

Read the Lorrie Moore book and then tell us what you think of the last 1/3 of it.

kitten_witawip

I am probably going to see that goyishe Coen movie.

HeyThatsMyBike

Input please: I am watching 300 tonight. Am I going to love it or hate it?

Kataphraktos
Kataphraktos (#226)

Are you using Awl comments to come out of the closet?

Fredrick
Fredrick (#268)

It might insult the 'thinking person' aspect of your being, but not the 'boner' aspect.

HeyThatsMyBike

Crap! I am a lady, so I can't get boners! And I am a thinking person!
So far, shirtless men = thumbs up. Otherwise I'm really fucking bored.

kitten_witawip

You will like it. It will give you a lady boner.

Bucko
Bucko (#1,599)

I loved it, but only in a distant, sort-of, spiritual way. It's awesome in a production values sort of way, but soul-crushing if you're looking for meaning.

HeyThatsMyBike

It is visually stunning! Oh look! A tree full of dead people!

Fredrick
Fredrick (#268)

I forgot to mention the 'visual feast' aspect. You should just see Watchmen though. Much smarter movie, still nice to look at.

Bittersweet
Bittersweet (#765)

Watchmen was a visual feast, but there were certain images I really just didn't need to feast on. Blurgh.

HeyThatsMyBike

Yikes. SPOILER ALERT! Sorry Gerard Butler and the other 299. And what was that hunchback's story? And the ancient Persians had orcs? Confusing.
Verdict: Cool-looking. Hot boys. But I can haz plotline and character development? Oof.

BoHan
BoHan (#29)

#airbrushedasses

BoHan
BoHan (#29)

Oh also: Question 6: Should Choire ever lock Balk out again or is he OK with headlining a British lack of knickers?

katiebakes
katiebakes (#32)

As I currently understand it, he needed space to screen all VI of the Saw franchise. Understandable.

BronxWASP
BronxWASP (#415)

For reading stuff, I recommend the program Word Flash Reader. It flashes words one by one on a screen so you can read "faster." Great for that sh*t you want to read but can't.

Also check out the RSVP reader bar in firefox.

http://wordflashreader.sourceforge.net/

brent_cox
brent_cox (#40)

That sounds like smoking a feature article instead of reading it. And then drinking the bongwater.

#56
#56 (#56)

First sleep-over with 5 year old niece. We're baking cookies, watching angelina ballerina DVDs and having a tea party. plans subject to change... Plan B: I call sis to pick up her brat early.

Bucko
Bucko (#1,599)

Can someone help a poor troll add a photo to display when I'm trolling you poor saps? It's not like me to ask for help, but even Google isn't helping me out today. Poor sad troll :-<

cherrispryte
cherrispryte (#444)

Your trollings are offensive to real trolls. So no.

Also, i could not figure out myself how to add an avatar. Well, i figured it out, but then i'd have to start a new account and loose my awesome "not a year in the last millenium" member number. So if I can't have one, neither can you.

Bucko
Bucko (#1,599)

Racist!

HeyThatsMyBike

Gravatar.com should allow you both to keep your commenter numbers AND add pictures. I am tech-impaired compared to the likes of the commenters here, and I figured it out, so I have faith in both of you! You just need to make sure your gravatar and awl passwords match, and then magic happens.

cherrispryte
cherrispryte (#444)

I just spent half an hour trying to make this work, and NO MAGIC IS HAPPENING.

cherrispryte
cherrispryte (#444)

OMG THE MAGIC, IT HAPPENED! SWORD-WIELDING MERMAIDS FOR EVERYONE!

CaptainFantastic

gravatar.com

Bucko
Bucko (#1,599)

Thanks Hey* and Cap*, see my new picture? It's amazingly difficult to accomplish. Had to create a new identity, but then the avatar appeared on my old Bucko account (which is, apparently, someone else entirely than me).

Dan Kois
Dan Kois (#646)

The Lorrie Moore book is SO GOOD except for that one part. You will know which part it is when you get to it. It is awful.

Natasha Vargas-Cooper

WORRIED ABOUT MOZ.

#56
#56 (#56)

yes! we need a Weekend Special Report.

Flashman
Flashman (#418)

BUT NOT WORRIED ABOUT ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER

Natasha Vargas-Cooper

OMG I COULD NOT WORRY LESS ABOUT ADW

Bucko
Bucko (#1,599)

Moz : singer :: PBR : beer

mathnet
mathnet (#27)

is so in love with Jon Hamm it is painful.

Natasha Vargas-Cooper

I knew I would find you here, swooning. DEAR GAWD. Orgasmic.

mathnet
mathnet (#27)

It is a testament to how hard I was cry-coming that I am STILL GNASHING MY TEETH at the idiot ruiner person who decided to fuck the whole thing up by selecting Where Is Love for the closing credits. I mean, fine. Bang me over the head with it if you must. But at least use an instrumental version! Don't make me listen to the pathetic kid voice singing the pathetic ruin-y lyrics, you china-shop-bull episode-ruiner!

Post a Comment

You must be logged-in to post a comment.

Login To Your Account