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Thursday, October 29, 2009

16

The World Needs "Queen: Rock Band"

FREDDIE?The Beatles: Rock Band did okay: in September, in the U.S., it sold 595,000 units. That's just decent. But the thing about the game is that it kind of sucks, in terms of playability. (Though it rules in terms of gorgeousness-the visuals are awesome.) As a game itself, though, there's almost nothing there. It comes with so few tracks, it isn't terribly challenging, and in terms of a "game," as in, an advancing storyline, it is abysmal. Last week, Rock Band released a Queen ten-song pack, and in terms of playability and fun, those ten Queen songs are more than ten times the fun of Beatles: Rock Band. (EVEN IF IT HAS THE RADIO EDIT OF "FAT BOTTOMED GIRLS" INSTEAD OF THE ORIGINAL OMG FANBOYS GO NUTZ.) Now Queen is appearing in the forthcoming and utterly gay (AS IN BAD) Lego Rock Band, which, whatever, but really we must all unite to ensure that the rumored Queen Rock Band actually happens. Like we need Woody Allen to seriously put together a petition on this shit. Because then our lives will look like this, every day.

16 Comments / Post A Comment

Bittersweet
Bittersweet (#765)

Of course Queen Rock Band is ten times more fun than the Beatles - John and Paul didn't strut around in tiny shorts and sing falsetto high notes in Italian.

But whatevs on the Rock Band thing, I just want to ride my bicycle.

iplaudius
iplaudius (#1,066)

I'm going as Freddie Mercury for Halloween. Timely! I wanted to make the yellow jacket from the Wembley Stadium concert, but it turns out custom made rock-motorcycle-marchingband jackets are not such an easy thing.

What is this Rock Band. A video game? I don't play video games. Just music. Can I make fun of it, like Guitar Hero?

Queen is everywhere. My favorite recent Queen sighting was the Glee rendition of "Somebody to Love." It was beautiful.

HistoryGoRound
HistoryGoRound (#1,793)

I was going to be Ming the Merciless but was told it was culturally insensitive.

Insensitive to who, Mongonians?

dado
dado (#102)

Rock Band. Guitar Hero. Push buttons on a phony guitar to make it look like you actually know what key the thing is tuned in. Phooey on that. Might as well play checkers but use the chess pieces. King me.

iplaudius
iplaudius (#1,066)

Guitar Hero is like jerking off someone else's fake dick while watching cartoon porn.

NicFit
NicFit (#616)

Agreed. I once went to this Rock Band party in L.A. It was the most depressing Saturday night in recent memory.

karion
karion (#11)

This is the best comment in the history of the internet.

And I have never even played Guitar Hero.

slinkimalinki
slinkimalinki (#182)

um, can this replace "be less stupid" as the awls tagline thingy.

ericdeamer
ericdeamer (#945)

Can you somehow make these bad people stop Choire?

ericdeamer
ericdeamer (#945)

People who make fun of Guitar Hero or Rock Band or whatever are a million times worse than a million Hitlers. I don't even play those games or anything but Jesus fucking Christ, really?

Matt
Matt (#26)

AND I DON'T LIKE STAR WARS.

josh_speed
josh_speed (#97)

I am holding out for the David Bowie Guitar Hero, which will either be too Hip For The House, or used as a Lady Gaga training unit.

LondonLee
LondonLee (#922)

It will come with a special "Brian Eno" attachment to make the guitars sound backwards.

elecampane
elecampane (#1,877)

I wish I didn't know about Brian May, astrophysicist, because now whenever I listen to Queen it makes me think about science. Wailing guitar solos are now the sound of quasars, to me.

Related: Please set the great minds at The Awl loose on Highlander.

brianvan
brianvan (#149)

That's within Lafsky's beat, right? If not for the plot, for the acting.

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