Thursday, October 1st, 2009

The Terror of Butt Elmo and Butt Pooh

I WILL POOP ON YOUThe Awl's Tom Scocca takes Underparenting to a new level: "Diapers are for catching urine and feces. They represent neither entertainment nor education…. Butt Elmo, by contrast, represents a world in which it's not merely branding that's out of control but cross-branding. Every space is a promotional opportunity for something else."

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Honest Engine (#1,661)

Butt, Elmo loooooves YOU!

mathnet (#27)

OMG I have so had the Butt Pooh conversation. Seventh Generation all the way.

I also STILL get tripped up by the (not-actually-that) new no-peeling-back sticky tabs. I render 1 out of 12 diapers useless and have to start singing another song and put a new item in the niece or nephew's hand and start all over again.

AND DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON THE FUCKED-UP WAY HE(?) TALKS. Not only does this (poor, poor excuse for a) muppet model zero normal first-person speech, but his verbs don't regularly even match his goddamned self-referential third-person pronouns! "Kid stuff" is never for kids! DID YOU KNOW I AM UPSET!

Dave Bry (#422)

"One of the earliest lessons of baby care is that bad things happen in the open air, so speed and routine are essential."

Learning this lesson cost me a stereo amplifier, which was stupidly placed next to and below the dresser-top that served as a changing table in my child's room. It was on, playing music, when it died in a loud explosion and blue sparks and smoke, the landing point for a higher, longer arc of urine that I would have ever expected to come out of an infant. All humans present survived.

My kid thinks Elmo is female and I'm not going to attempt to change his mind. (Elmo is supposed to be a dude, right?) Also, the Potty Time DVD doesn't work worth a piss/shit.

mathnet (#27)

This song is lovely and hypnotizing (so helpful in that area).

Oh dear. They know where it is supposed to go, they just don't care if it goes there or not.

mathnet (#27)

It can be helpful to the adults though.

cherrispryte (#444)

Elmo's a black man! ….. Or at least, Elmo's voice is.

brad (#1,678)

after at least 750 hours of elmo this is the first moment his gender ever entered my mind.

was that the point? those PBS types are wiley.

There is no (butt) spoon?

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