The Awl

Tulletilsynet on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

Tulletilsynet — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 14:50:19 +0000

Dairy Queen in a food court is my idea of how you recuperate after the other two afflictions.

sox on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

sox — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 11:40:27 +0000

if it's just a FB and not a BF, then why trade him in? just get one in every color! like handbags!

cherrispryte on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

cherrispryte — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 23:15:21 +0000

There are what, 194 countries in this world? And we get to see the rankings of 20 of them? Fuck that shit. Also, damn you, I sort of want a pizza bagel?

kitten_witawip on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

kitten_witawip — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 23:15:14 +0000

fuck buddy http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fuck%20buddy

mathnet on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

mathnet — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 21:47:25 +0000

I GIVE UP. What the F is an FB? Female Boyfriend? Foreign Boyfriend? Fake Boyfriend?

Abe Sauer on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

Abe Sauer — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 19:09:29 +0000

You mean they're both the poor sex tourists' Cuba?

carpetblogger on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

carpetblogger — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:15:22 +0000

Kenya is to female sex tourism as Cambodia is to male sex tourism. I don't know why this is though.

HiredGoons on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

HiredGoons — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 17:53:29 +0000

heh.

missdelite on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

missdelite — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 17:50:56 +0000

I doubt their demographic travels to these places.

Abe Sauer on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

Abe Sauer — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 16:42:58 +0000

Also, Asia, India and Africa must feel good that they're not on he worst list.... #10 Pakistanis (too smelly) or Kenyan (too black) probably wouldn't be good PR for this Onesite.com thingamabob.

missdelite on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

missdelite — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 16:12:46 +0000

Typo: Canada = #100.

amuselouche on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

amuselouche — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:54:21 +0000

Behold, our favorite painting: http://awp.diaart.org/km/usa/most.html Personally, I think it could benefit from more cats. Or unlimited breadsticks.

kitten_witawip on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

kitten_witawip — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:52:34 +0000

Nothing worse on the planet than a date with a recently divorced person. Even Olive Gardens and Cats are tolerable in comparison.

HiredGoons on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

HiredGoons — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:49:17 +0000

cap it off with Dairy Queen in a food court - you're gettin' lucky!

SarahHeartburn on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

SarahHeartburn — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:45:17 +0000

Yes you can. Horribly. A recentl divorcee. A blind date.Angrier than Sidney Pollack in Woody Allen's "Husbands and Wives". Forgive me, I was only 25, and all I kept thinking was " I'll NEVER abe this lucky again, and he's SHITE in bed."

SarahHeartburn on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

SarahHeartburn — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:40:04 +0000

Just thinking about a date involving Olive Garden, followed by Cats, could kill my libido forever. (Really. Can you imagine what kind of linguine with white clam sauce they do at Olive Garden? Shudder.)

jolie on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

jolie — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:29:51 +0000

You listen to Aimee Mann during sexy time? You never get laid, do you?

TerseNursePornstein on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

TerseNursePornstein — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:23:38 +0000

MY MIDDLE NAME IS STROMBOLI!

HiredGoons on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

HiredGoons — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:23:32 +0000

this is so.

HiredGoons on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

HiredGoons — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:22:54 +0000

GERMANS VS. JEWS

TerseNursePornstein on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

TerseNursePornstein — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:08:30 +0000

Wrongest, wronger and wrong.

Flashman on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

Flashman — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:01:22 +0000

Wrong! The name is a reference to my technique of seduction.

Abe Sauer on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

Abe Sauer — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:01:08 +0000

Yeah, I mean, basing results on what a random bunch of people whose sexing abilities themseelf are unknown is kinda dumb... I mean, do a survey like this in America and Olive Garden will be one of our top 5 best restaurants and CATS one of best cultural experiences.

SarahHeartburn on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

SarahHeartburn — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:00:47 +0000

Speaking of Irish Catholic girls, Balk, you do know you ARE the perfect boyfriend for our kind. Wrong religion, and reeking of garlic. At least your kind made my high school to mid 20's Happyland!

kitten_witawip on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

kitten_witawip — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:00:43 +0000

This is why I just go by size. Can't go wrong being a size queen.

wiilliiaamm on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

wiilliiaamm — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:59:08 +0000

OMG!! Me too!!

lululemming on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

lululemming — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:57:16 +0000

Okay, so I'm blind. But can we concede that a "pizza bagel" sounds gross?

Baboleen on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

Baboleen — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:55:52 +0000

Manischewitz and Suave Bolo- YUM!!

Matt on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

Matt — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:55:08 +0000

THE SPY WHO LOVED ME; JAWS; FINE ENGLAND IS THE SECOND WORST BUT WHAT ABOUT ENGLISH *SECRET AGENTS*; ROGER MOORE; MAJOR ANYA AMASOVA; OKAY I WILL STOP NOW I PROMISE

propertius on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

propertius — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:54:01 +0000

I thought they were tomato glazed donuts with cheese shots.

Alex Balk on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

Alex Balk — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:53:39 +0000

It's the Aimee Mann cover. But mostly it's the sentiment.

lululemming on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

lululemming — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:51:37 +0000

Whatever they are, no one wants to eat them off your wang.

hman on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

hman — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:50:54 +0000

If you hear a Carly Simon song after all is said and done, chances are pretty good you're both doing something wrong.

SarahHeartburn on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

SarahHeartburn — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:48:20 +0000

And what was their database anyway? 1)Junior year abroad brats, who don't understand the sweet nothings being whispered in their ears("watch out I'm gonna hurl" sounds great in Spanish or Italian). 2)Women who were so so shitfaced themselves they can't remember who or what or when or how. See, 90% of female British tourists in Spain; 98% in Ibiza. 3)Women who paid a shitload to go to wherever and will be damned if they're going to admit that Jorge or Guido or Pierre or Rastaman can be as boring as anyone anywhere. It ain't the postal code, it's the motion.

P.G.O.A.T. on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

P.G.O.A.T. — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:46:29 +0000

Not possible. There are some things I wish I didn't know, this is one of them.

Matt on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

Matt — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:45:44 +0000

WHERE DOES THE ASS-BOMBER FIT ON THIS TELEOLOGY?; THE VIRGINS IN HEAVEN

SarahHeartburn on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

SarahHeartburn — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:42:23 +0000

As another (American born) girl with 100% Irish DNA- no fucking way. What's that old joke? The Irish definition of foreplay? "Brace yourself, Brigid!". No joke.

Matt on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

Matt — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:41:19 +0000

SHILLELAGHS; *SHHHHHH* IRISH LADY I WANT TO HAVE AT LEAST ONE ETHNICITY RIGHT JEEZ

TerseNursePornstein on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

TerseNursePornstein — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:38:43 +0000

ICH LIEBE DICK, SCORING, TEA BAGS, SURVEY SAYS: "YES, PLEASE!", WHERE WAS MY BAT SIGNAL?

BoHan on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

BoHan — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:38:15 +0000

Yeah, pretty "Mama Mia"

formerly it takes a lot etc. on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

formerly it takes a lot etc. — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:35:29 +0000

As an Irish-American guy, I'm going to have to agree.

jolie on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

jolie — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:34:38 +0000

Balk's mom gets really upset when you refer to him as a pizza bagel, btw.

Kataphraktos on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

Kataphraktos — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:34:12 +0000

This survey's only scientific conclusion is that someone conducted a survey. The rest is 15,000 old hags bitching about the dudes who banged and ran. Examples: Germans smell = Germans are fucking racist assholes who won't commit to you because you are a swarthy untermensch. Soppy Greeks = the dude with the chest hair and the gold chain wined me, dined me, etc. and when I left Mykonos he wouldn't return my emails or calls.

jolie on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

jolie — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:33:36 +0000

YOU CANNOT TELL ME ALEX BALK HAS NEVER EATEN A STROMBOLI, I READ IT AS 'SWEDISH CELERY' AND WAS CONFUSED, THE IRISH GAL UP ABOVE USED THE WORD SHENANIGANS HEH, SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT STEREOTYPES?

HiredGoons on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

HiredGoons — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:32:44 +0000

I think you mean un-probable.

Matt on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

Matt — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:28:18 +0000

WHEN PIZZA'S ON A BAGEL, YOU CAN EAT PIZZA ANY TIME; MITIGATING FACTOR: NEW JERSEY?; HOLDING DOWN THE SHIFT KEY INSTEAD OF HITTING 'CAPS LOCK' TO WRITE FAKE TAGS

HiredGoons on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

HiredGoons — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:27:14 +0000

"CHERUBIM & SERAPHIM" = coffee snort.

HiredGoons on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

HiredGoons — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:26:27 +0000

Is it a Pagel, or a Bizza? Inquiring minds would like to know.

HiredGoons on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

HiredGoons — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:24:22 +0000

"I just wanna' meet some guys, some... Italian guys... an' watch TV."

jolie on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

jolie — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:22:27 +0000

TAGS: 15,000 WOMEN, THE SEXUAL PROWESS OF ALEX BALK, STEREOTYPES COME FROM SOMEWHERE, MMMM HAIRY MEN, CHERUBIM & SERAPHIM, HOW DID THE CROATIANS RANK?

valet of the dolls on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

valet of the dolls — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:20:58 +0000

It's a PIZZA BAGEL!

Alex Balk on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

Alex Balk — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:19:51 +0000

DOUGHNUTS? How DARE you?

amuselouche on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

amuselouche — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:19:41 +0000

As an Irish-American lady, I'm going to have to go ahead and call shenanigans on Ireland being #5. EXTREMELY UN-POSSIBLE.

lululemming on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

lululemming — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:19:11 +0000

What's with the doughnuts, Balk? Have you been reading Cosmo again?

oudemia on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

oudemia — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:18:04 +0000

Well, based on your pseud . . .

kitten_witawip on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

kitten_witawip — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:15:24 +0000

I just want a comparison. My FB is French. Should I trade him in for a Spanish or Italian guy and why?

HiredGoons on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

HiredGoons — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:10:24 +0000

if you you have to ask, you'll never know.

kitten_witawip on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

kitten_witawip — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:06:41 +0000

They say why the bad ones are bad but not why the good ones are good.

Baboleen on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

Baboleen — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:06:27 +0000

Roman Polanski moves to America and look what happens!

HiredGoons on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

HiredGoons — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:03:13 +0000

>a< = hungover!

HiredGoons on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

HiredGoons — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:02:20 +0000

Why, I'M half-Jewish alcoholic!

johnpseudonym on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

johnpseudonym — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 13:59:06 +0000

Uff da! I am screwed! Er ... not that way.

Flashman on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

Flashman — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 13:56:48 +0000

The fact that both Canada and South Africa are in the top ten is probably thanks to me.

mathnet on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

mathnet — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 13:55:49 +0000

Das ist was sie gesagt hat.

CaptainFantastic on Sex Survey Exposes National Shortcomings, Under-reported Truths

CaptainFantastic — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 13:55:02 +0000

Das ist nicht gut.