Scammy Beauty Website Discovers That Mexicans, Cubans and Poors are Hideous
Total Beauty, a website that exists to get products in the hands of consumers, founded by the former digital brand manager of Procter & Gamble, for some reason thought it would be awesome to do a slideshow called "Eight Cities with the Ugliest Guys: Do you live in one of these dogtowns?." Yes. They did! (Ha, DOGTOWNS.) At number five, we find a tie between Mobile, Alabama and Huntington, West Virginia, because they are the most toothless cities in the nation. Oh my God, the edentulate are so fug, you guys! At number three? Miami, somehow. (Ugly like Andy Garcia and Timbaland!) At number one? El Paso, Texas. Uh oh. "15 percent of the dudes in this Lone Star city have less than a 9th grade education. The city also suffers from a notably high rate of obesity, 32 percent are in below average health and 30 percent do not exercise regularly, which is probably why there are so few gyms in town." Yes. Four out of five El Paso residents, by the way, are Hispanic or Latino. The median income for a man in El Paso? $29,000 a year. Whatever, people will write anything on the Internet. But you know what is uglier than Mexican dudes? NOTHING, I guess!
Appropriately (?) this post is accompanied by ads for "Gay Latino Dating."
But the CEO, Emrah Kavacoglu, he knows of what he speaks as he IS a total beauty: http://i.bnet.com/blogs/emrahlogo.png
sweet merciful crap!
Oh, come on, we'd totally hit that.
Ha, he's Ottoman. Figures.
Also, figures: Approximately 0% of these vital statistics were not pulled out of a Mexican day laborers overworked and underexfoliated buttocks.
Agree with Choire. Totally do-able. Especially if he does that Turkish oil wrestling.
Rrrrrrawrrr!
"We"?
That better be the royal 'We' Mr. Sicha. Cuz I dunno what'chu talkin' bout.
I'm enjoying "Casual Racism: Exposed!" week on The Awl
There's only one way to counter this: Esai Morales spread in Playgirl.
Come on, Morales. This isn't just about my dirty, dirty lust anymore. Now it's about your ethnic pride. And also still some of my dirty lust. But mostly pride. Just fucking take your pants off, already.
First you champion the shirtless Gabriel Delahaye, and now a campaign for a nude Esai Morales? Whoever you are, you have great taste.
I dunno, that Cesar Millan guy is pretty good-looking. And loaded!
Cubans, though? Tiny, tiny penises.
Sorries! 'Tis the truth.
Not in my experience. Though the sum total of my Latino experience is just one Cuban and one Puerto Rican.
Mine either. I've known some disappointingly small Mexicans, though.
Man, you guys got lucky then!
Granted, my experience is only 2 Cubans. But both were very, very disappointing.
Your inchage may vary.
Were they brothers? That could affect the %/race/likelihood ratio
What, you think they're all related?
Ha!
No. No, they were most certainly not brothers.
What? They're ALL related?
No, I just wonder what you thought upon taking sight of Tiny#2. Like, if you immediately made the connection to @#1 and thought, 'what an island forsaken.'
Heee! Erm, yeah. Pretty much!
The Cuban was very hot looking too. The Puerto Rican, not so much but he was definitely not ugly.
A short list of really ugly, stupid people from El Paso:
Sandra Day O'Connor, Associate Justice of the Supreme Court.
Barbara Lee, Democratic Party US Congresswowan
Jeff Bingaman, Democratic US Senator for the state of New Mexico.
Patrick G. Forrester, NASA Astronaut.
John "Danny" Olivas, NASA Astronaut.
Gene Roddenberry, Star Trek creator.
Debbie Reynolds, Academy Award nominee actress.
Anthony Quinn, Academy Award winning actor.
F. Murray Abraham, Academy Award winning actor.
Gilbert Roland, Golden Globe nominee actor.
Alan Tudyk, actor.
Vikki Carr, Grammy Award winning singer.
Sam Donaldson, former ABC News anchor.
Nora Zehetner, actress.
Don Haskins, Hall of Fame coach.
Tim Hardaway, NBA Basketball All Star.
Nate (Tiny) Archibald, Naismisth Basketball Hall of Fame.
Noland Richardson, former NCAA Champion with Arkansas.
Don Maynard, Pro Football Hall of Fame.
Lee Trevino, professional golfer.
Ray Mickens, NFL player.
Bob Beamon, UTEP and gold medal winner in 1968 Mexico City Olympics.
Willie Shoemaker, Racing Hall of Fame jockey.
Eddie Guerrero, WWE Hall of Fame.
You left out the wicked Felina who used to dance at Rosa's Cantina.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_from_El_Paso,_Texas