Monday, in New York magazine! "Dog-walking with the novelist and vegetarian polemicist Jonathan Safran Foer"! Also! "Circumcision: For and Against"!
Monday, in New York magazine! "Dog-walking with the novelist and vegetarian polemicist Jonathan Safran Foer"! Also! "Circumcision: For and Against"!
Too soon?
Safran succotash!
Foerskin!
FOR!
For.
"For And Against"? Can't it just be one or the other? DAMN!
Forgainst?
Against!
Foer.
"vegetarian polemicist"? While by no means saying I wish death upon Foer, I reckon this is something that could be rectified by a swift reinstatement of the draft.
Perhaps we could eat him, in small cube-shaped pieces. So he wouldn't have to die.
Plant walking with the novelist and carnivorous polemicist.
I would like to tell you a story which is true. A certain woman one generation ahead of me explained it all after she and I watched the Mad Men pilot together last week (her first viewing).
About two months before her WASPy wedding in 1966, this virgin bride's mother made an appointment with her own doctor--on the advice of the bride's future mother-in-law--for a hospital stay during which skilled surgeons would anesthetize her generally, and then rupture her hymen. A three-day stay. To prevent a scenario wherein the bride and groom would end up in the emergency room on their honeymoon, worried about blood on the bed and concerned about what Housekeeping would think.
OK no nothing really to do with male or female circumcision but ISN'T THAT FUCKED UP??
Anesthesia? Three-day stay? Did she have one of those old-fashioned cast-iron hymens?
You'll be pleased to know that the doctor congratulated the mother--while the bride was in Recovery--on having a "good girl."
There's something a little too livestockish there for my own taste.
If by "pleased" you mean "appalled," then yes. Yes, very pleased. Sweet jesus.
Whereas I, when my six year old daughter fell awkwardly on the monkey bars, replied to the doctor who informed me that her hymen was still intact, "Good, because she's worth far more goats that way." (We've since changed pediatricians.)
OMG I asked this certain woman about that story again last night, and she added this detail: "[The groom] sent flowers to my hospital room."
In the small Caucasian country in which I used to live, men made sure to visit prostitutes the night before their weddings so their "force" wouldn't injure their virgin brides.
just their syphilis would?
I have to say, I impressed with the Awl commenters for not allowing the slightest mention of the pro/con circumcision issue to erupt into a contentious, Jezebel-style flame war. That is one conversation I am sooooo tired of.
They were all exhausted by Abe's fatty fat chicks endanger fetuses so they should all get abortions and/or don't deserve to live and/or have sex ever again piece.
Against me!