Real America, with Abe Sauer: The Last Game of Baseball in the Metrodome
At 5 p.m. (EDT) the Twins will play the Tigers in an extra season game (163!) for the American League Central title. While the Twins' inspired play helped them get here, the game is mostly the result of the Tigers' complete—complete!—meltdown. It's the second straight year the Twins season has ended with such a playoff game. It's the 108th year the Tigers season has ended with them still being from Detroit. But even more woeful is that, should the Twins lose, it's the last baseball game ever at the Metrodome.
The Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome opened in April of 1982. Technically, it was "inflated." As anyone who has ever exited the Metrodome knows, the facility is actually pressurized by air, like a hot air balloon.
From the beginning, the Metrodome has become everything an urban sports complex is not supposed to be: it was built cheap and came in several million dollars under budget. It was made to "get fans in, let 'em see a game, and let 'em go home"—not to separate them from as much of their money as humanly possible. It has hosted two world series championships, a super bowl, Kirby Puckett and a number of division titles. It is an Iowan breeding ground and in Kevin Costner's post apocalyptic America, the president governs from here. In perhaps the greatest of all stadium sins, it was instantly, and permanently, profitable for the city. Being a native of Wisconsin, where stadiums run millions over-budget, rob taxpayers blind, produce no hope of championships, immediately break and literally kill human beings, the Metrodome is a horrendous insult to baseball.
Players and fans complain that the Metrodome is too good for the long-ball, giving Twins hitters an unfair season-long advantage. Statistics have proven this to be untrue. But the Metrodome's interior teflon-coated fiberglass cloth has resulted in many fielders losing the ball in the ceiling—though as many of those errors seems to have been by the Twins as by their competitors. On two occasions balls have literally been lost in the vent holes in the fabric.
Next year the Twins will be playing at a brand new outdoor stadium. It, like everything else in Minnesota, is named "Target" (suck it Best Buy!), yet two-thirds was paid for by taxpayers. Still, today's game is perfect example of the drawbacks of outdoor baseball in Minnesota, as it is 48 degrees and raining. (To say nothing of outdoor Minnesota baseball next April.)
So with the Twins at Target Field and the Gophers at their new TCF Bank Stadium and the Timberwolves at Target Center Arena and the Wild at the Xcel Energy Center, what Minneapolis certainly needs is another stadium. And of course that is now exactly what the Vikings want which will probably result in the dome being torn down in another year or so.
Abe, how do you feel about Brett Favre playing for the Vikings now? Particularly after last night's game?
Oh, i was THERE! I have never seen so many confused people. Nor have I ever seen so many Minnesota Vikings fans… so many Peterson, Favre and Allen jersies. How… current.
My grandparents live in MN (Sandstone Pride!) and they are definitely confused. My mother has embraced the new lineup wholeheartedly and kept sending me 'fuck green bay!' text messages.
As for the jerseys, I'm pretty sure that the second a player signs with a team, the sweatshops employees start stitching away. For example, while watching the press conference when Vick signed with the Eagles, the ads on the side were all 'order your size 60XXXXXL Vick Eagles jersey today!!'
Ah yes. The fan base is a little torn. I saw a bunch of Favre Vikings Jerseys at the game with the name on the back "Judas." So… The Vikes though. Lord. I remember in their last playoff game (last year?) they almost got blacked out because they couldn't sell out the dome. Pitiful. If Favre has done ONE thing for the team it's to make them a midseason sellout (and in THIS economy).
My only trip to Minneapolis was when I interviewed with the Dayton-Hudson Company in 1990, fresh out of college. It was May, and it was snowing.
Instead of that shitty job, I took a shitty job in Atlanta instead. My first apartment, in a complex of Melrosian proportions had an outdoor pool.
The shitty job transferred me to New York in 1992. We had one month of summer this year.
As a White Sox fan I can only say – PRAISE JEEBUS!
I hate that dome. What a horrific place to play baseball.
Hmm… as opposed to the Cell, a ballpark that managed to be plopped smack dab in the center of a major city, and have zero personality? At least there was something memorable about the Dome….the noise, the unpredictability of the roof, the speed of the field the discomfort of the seats. US Cellular is just…there. Better concessions then Wrigley or the MetroDome, though.
Three advantages of USCellular Field over the Metrodome:
1) Real grass
2) The sky
3) No fucking baggie.
There really is no comparison.
1. The food.
2. Section 113 where we will always tell the opposing teams right fielder that they suck, not their team – just them.
3. We're getting *some* personality. The ghost of Veeck seems to be coming by more often. Dog Day, Elvis Night, Mullet Night, Polish Night, Greek Night, Buffet Night, Beatles Night – basically if you want a night you just need to call the place. They'll shoot off fireworks and play some music for you. Mullet night also includes free haircuts in the
4. Ozzie Guillen and his crazy talk – always entertaining.
To clarify – Mullet night includes free haircuts in the center field concourse – mullets only.
(must stop posting when i'm supposed to be working)
Indiana Black Sox suck.
When I think of the Metrodome I think of two things: the first being Jack Morris pitching 10 shutout innings to win the 1991 World Series; and the second being the garbage bag monstrosity that is the outfield wall.
as a pittsburgh pirate fan, i would like to point out the beautiful stadium.
no no, please don't look at the field…
here, look at this lovely arch. see the pretty view of the town. eat a sandwich.
Fenway, bitches.
NO ONE DENIES THIS!!
I have a treasured video of Kirby Puckett outside the dome congratulating my husband and I on our nuptials.
I'm hoping for some dome magic right about now….go Twins!
I. Was. There. thatisall.
Are any of you actually watching this game? Fucking. Awesome.
Oh my. It was…. Lutherans screaming… 54,000
Twins Win!
Well, not quite the last game in the Rollerdome, as Mike Ditka would have it.
Your Twins won a World Series against my Cardinals based upon nothing more, in my arduous scientific analysis, than dichroic reverberation inside this polyester-walled tinfoil shield. But I'll forgive you, inasmuch as the Tin Cities gave the world Grain Belt Beer.
Minneapolis is selling the famous island neon grain belt sign (for those who know what that is).
Ugh. . .don't even tell me? "Grain Belt Target"?
And for the record I'm still first and foremost a Brewers fan as much as one can be.
So sorry! :/
And, for the record, dingbat, they make the Grain Belt in New Ulm, no?
I think it's made at the headwaters with the purest ingredients on earth.. no? NO?
Great game tonight.
The Metrodome is so terribly grand.
Doesn't the high air pressure slow the ball down and make it harder to hit wicked homers?
(Although at the same time, it would help the player's scrapes and bruises – if they suffer any – to heal faster)
Actually, it was a temperature thing that was solved after the first couple years.
All single women in Minneapolis are tonight pregnant with Joe Mauer's babies.
What about the great cheating at the Metrodome? That was always my favorite thing. (Well, besides Kirby Puckett.) Evil mastermind Twins engineers would set the vents to blow air out towards the outfield fences when the Twins were at bat, right? And then back towards home plate when the visitors were up. Was this ever proven? I choose to believe it. You are lucky to have been at that game tonight, Abe. That was a classic.
Large-space claustrophobia. There should be a German word!
Ooooh. Game 1 in… what is that, a tornado? In NY? Twins with a man on 3rd! Minnesota god Joe Mauer is up.
Mauer doubles. Cuddayer singles. Past Ball. 2 – 0 Twins in the 3rd!
gahhhhh. Twins!!!