Tiny-dicked ducks with rape on their minds are spreading bird flu through sexual transmission, according to a study by Hungarian scientists.

Most ducks form monogamous pairs but the males also often force sex on females because, unlike most birds, they have a phallus. This has led to an evolutionary "arms race" between the sexes, with males evolving longer penises the better to inseminate the female, and females responding by evolving more complex vaginal anatomy to make insemination by unwelcome partners less likely.

When the researchers compared data on the prevalence of low-pathogenic bird flu strains in different duck species with what is known about the anatomy of duck reproductive parts and mating behaviour, they found that ducks with the smallest penises and tamest sex lives had the highest flu levels.

As we know, bird flu has the potential of "jumping species," putting us all at risk. I think the first thing we need to do here is teach these ducks that no means no, no matter how poorly endowed you are, but maybe Science has a more practical solution.