Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

P Is For The People Who Can't Understand

So Jay-Z's booked to perform "Empire State of Mind" before the opening game of the world series at Yankee Stadium. Hard to beat something that makes that much sense. A big, bombastic anthem about the bright lights of the big city to match the big, bombastic Bronx Bombers and the bright lights of their big new stadium. (Even as that googolzillion-dollar monument to avarice and ostentation is already falling apart.) Alicia Keys on the chorus and everything. A-Rod's bound to pop a boner. The Evil Empire is stacking the deck.

How's Philadelphia-a place already afflicted with a severe second-city complex-supposed to compete? Who can open the show Saturday, when the series moves down the Turnpike to Citizen's Bank Park? Beanie Sigel and Freeway have been suggested. But they both came up under Jay at his Roc-A-Fella Records. They'd look like little brothers in hand-me-downs. Same goes for the Roots, who often serve as Jay's back-up band. How about Will Smith, in his ol' Fresh Prince rapper mode? Points for star power, but it's hard to imagine that would help the Phillies get their game face on. What's he gonna play, "Parents Just Don't Understand"?

No. The Phillies need to recruit someone that even Jay would have to doff his Yankee fitted to: the Philadelphia MC many people credit as the originator of gangsta rap. Help us, Schooly D, you're our only hope.

17 Comments / Post A Comment

jolie (#16)


Dave Bry (#422)

Fixed! (What spelling error?) Thanks for careful reading, Jolie.

jolie (#16)

Thanks for thanking me for being an insufferable pain in the ass, Dave!

johnpseudonym (#1,452)

Hall & Oates are from Philly!

brent_cox (#40)

And the Hooters.

katiebakes (#32)

Is this one too obvious?

Related: if you need me later today I'll just be over here listening to this on repeat.

maebefunke (#154)

That's what I'm saying, Bakes! During the 7th inning stretch everyone will slow dance to "I'll Make Love to You"

Original Roots Crew.

Interesting that the subtitles (Dutch?) in the video skipped "suck-ass nigga" and "I shoot you dead."

Ah, the sixth borough and its anxieties. Ah, what an old am I.

brianvan (#149)

Maybe see what Elton John is doing tonight?

//not obscure to you old fuckers

percolator (#1,721)

The world will watch in shock/awe as he launches into his most well known song: the theme song from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Great clip – thanks Dave!

The funny thing is that Jay-Z is too busy saving the Yankees to help out Alicia Keys! Her first single is tanking and her record just got pushed back two weeks. Oops.

SchoollyD (#2,080)

Dave, that is a great article! I need to work on that! Thanks man

conwayam (#2,085)

Care to comment about Jonathan Chockaban?

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