Online Shoe Retail MONSTER's Newfangled Personalization Software is Janktastic

BAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAEveryone knows that Zappos sold to Amazon for $900 million human 2009 dollars which makes the schadenfreude super spicy and causes pancreatic cancer. So it was extra eye-rolly that this site that doesn’t even carry Nicholas Kirkwood is so special now and can be “helpful” to where it suggests other things you’d be interested in based on your selections. You know, that annoyingly aggressive thing that Amazon does where it insists that EVERY Tamilee Webb thing EVER is up your alley because ONE TIME you bought a Bowflex. So you can imagine how thrilling it was to find that this pump-slinging zapateria’s shiny new function was BROKE. Shit is incorrect! It’s SHODDY.

I selected these black rhinestone studded Alexander McQueen peep toes and they wanted me to get Clarks Un.jumps and Robert Clergerie platform mules. MULES! With a buckle. IN PATENT LEATHER. BAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. This totally made my day.