Every year, a bunch of dumbasses at The Morning News complete a story, teeing off from the beginning of a trite Halloween urban legend. This year: the babysitter gets a scary phone call. This is my favorite part.
The phone rang."What do you want, douche?" Shelly said.
The voice was whispering now and Shelly could hear a mobile playing in the background. "OK, I'm in the baby's room right now. I'm looking at the baby. Checking it, as it were, which is something you should do once in awhile. There is undeniably a baby in the house."
Choire wrote this post....? But he's been dead for 15 years!
I wonder what Choire's most annoying habit as a ghost would be.
The post is coming from inside the house...oh wait it always does...
I know! I know! The baby had a hook hand... AND WAS A MEXICAN SEWER RAT!
The calls are coming from inside the garbage pile on the desk!
Or the change bowl.
Ashtray?
And that's when I realized the change bowl was only Canadian quarters and Euro cents.
OH MY GOD SOMEONE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR A BABY?!??!! That is fucking scary.