Monday, October 5th, 2009
14

Levi Johnston's Nuts Earning Their Keep


"The $800 million domestic pistachio industry still hasn't recovered from the recall of 2 million pounds of pistachios after last April's salmonella contamination scare. Sales are off upwards of 20% for the year." Solution? A $15 million, nationwide, "often sexually risqué marketing campaign that's made to go viral online." I guess we bit (hahaha, get it?), but whatever: They are using Palin-child impregnator Levi Johnston to sell pistachios. Is this the "new normal" everyone's talking about?

14 Comments / Post A Comment

saythatscool (#101)

For his sake, I hope he's the husband in that couple.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Levi Johnston is from Alaska?

WindowSeat (#180)

Pistachios, it's what's crackin' y'all.

KarenUhOh (#19)

Give the guy credit for taking his Fifteen Minutes in dog years.

johnpseudonym (#1,452)

"The pistachio is a small tree native to mountainous regions of Syria, Iran, Kyrgyzstan, Turkmenistan, Turkey and western Afghanistan, that produces an important culinary nut."

Levi Johnston is un-American. We're at war, people!

BronxWASP (#415)

I would have sex with him.

HiredGoons (#603)

Yeah, he's kind of hot in a sleazy way. A sleazy way that I like.

I mean, he's not like 'hot-hot,' but totally bonable.

GiovanniGF (#224)

Psst – your mike is on.

Baboleen (#1,430)

As long as he doesn't speak.

Kataphraktos (#226)

So the pistachios will now be mongoloid, too?

Oh, wait, that's Sarah's kid. Riiiigghhhttt.

missdelite (#625)

This works.
He is, after all, a giant fungus.

EvilMonkey (#1,063)

Levi keeps figuring out new ways to derive income from nuts. His nuts make the the Tripp, whose granny IS nuts, and now the pistachios.

United States of Israel.
Treasury is Bankrupt.
American Holocaust.
9/11 False Flag.
James Blunt,
No Bravery

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