Letters to the Editors of Women's Magazines, with Edith Zimmerman

TAYLOR, SWIFTKeep It Real, Taylor!
The jeans issue with Taylor Swift caught my eye [“Bombshell in Blue Jeans,” August 2009]. I was so inspired when she talked about the challenges she overcame to get where she is today; it convinced me that my dreams aren’t worth giving up on.
Samantha G., Sarasota, FL (Glamour, October 2009)

Do you guys dream in color? Me, I dream in silent black-and-white squigglies, but they make me laugh. Dreams-where do they come from? I guess that’s one question we’ll never know the answer to. Not until we can invent tiny cameras that go in our heads.
Kristy J., Atlanta

Where Has Your Glamour Been?
On my honeymoon in Peru, I took my Glamour with me to Machu Picchu-a long train ride. Later I passed the magazine on to a Peruvian woman I met on the train who was learning English.
Christeen M., Denver (Glamour, October 2009)

On my honeymoon in Peru, I passed my copy of Glamour on to a Peruvian woman who was learning English-but just for a sec, and then I threw it out the window. “What? Oh, you wanted that?” I said. “Well boo hoo, you rotten old idiot, there’s such a thing as buying your own shit, you stupid moron.” That dumb foreign idiot!
Ginger F., via e-mail

Berry smart
I love blueberries, but I didn’t realize they had so many health benefits until I read “Go Blue for a Younger You.” Now I can eat handfuls of the fruit and feel great about it.
katyterberg, via Self.com (Self, October 2009)

You know how they’re always saying to throw all your blueberries directly into the garbage? Well I’m like, “Nope, no way, I’m gonna eat these tiny blue pieces of fruit, and if you’re not gonna eat yours, give ’em to me ’cause I’ll eat ’em. I’ll do it right now, too, right in front of you.” Gotta give it up for the bluest fruit on the planet!
Darlene O’Brien, Chattanooga, TN


Diet Dilemmas Solved
I am appalled by “Wellness Diaries” [Fall Makeover 2009]. The diets are anything but healthy. Isn’t it bad enough that society glorifies women who are underweight? It is unrealistic to adhere to a diet like Ji Baek’s, which consists of champagne and one meal a day.
Anna Moreno, via instyle.com (InStyle, October 2009)

You know who my diet icon is? A daddy long legs spider. Fucking thin as fuck. Are you fat dumps jealous? You should be, you lard fucks. You guys, I’m so skinny I look like thread. Like a fucking string of thread, you assholes. You could use me to sew up your assholes if you wanted, I’m such a fucking slender queen. Fuck, you guys, I’m so skinny I look like what someone who died a few years ago would look like if you dug up their bones, you fat whales, you fat monster beasts. Oh my God, you guys don’t even know.
Dana J., Denver

Blue-Eyed and Beautiful
I was excited to see Zooey Deschanel featured in the August issue’s “For the Love of Country.” I give you kudos for showcasing such an underrated actress and musician. She has nice blue eyes, and I’m glad that they were made the focus with such amazing photography.
Juliette G., Vancouver, B.C. (InStyle, October 2009)

My top 10 favorite colors are, in order: red, pink, purple, orange, yellow, blue, pale blue, green, black and brown. White is not a color, so don’t ask me what I’d rank it! And what if you did ask me? I wouldn’t respond.
Lisa K., Dallas

Summer lovin’
Zooey Deschanel’s “31 Days of Summer” is posted on my wall so I can cross off her ideas as I try them. Dining alfresco, running under a sprinkler and air-drying my hair are as rewarding as I thought they’d be. I can’t wait to see what Deschanel is up to next!
Kathryn P., Getzville, NY (Self, October 2009)

Zooey Deschanel’s “31 Days of Summer” is posted on my wall so I can rub my hands against it as often as I want. I trimmed off most of the text so it’s pretty much just her face. I’ve also been licking the eyes, so those are almost entirely worn away as well. What a great article, thank you!
Allison Fruiterson, Las Vegas

Beneath the Seams
I absolutely loved “The Fashion Insider’s Diet” [August]. The whole time I was reading it, I felt like I was getting the juicy backstage scoop on what the real Devil Wears Prada crowd eats (or doesn’t eat). Fascinating! I’d like to read more pieces like this.
Kaytee D., Escondido, CA (Allure, October 2009)

What do you guys eat, food or sticks? I eat food, but recently I’ve been looking into sticks. What do you think other people eat, food or sticks? And how long would these sticks be, like five inches? Six? I imagine a six-inch stick would be easier to sell: “I’ve got Six-Inch Sticks! Six-Inch Sticks for sale! Who wants a Six-Inch Stick?” Guess I answered my own question!
Jenny Jimble, Somerville, MA

Previously: Letters to the Editor of Women’s Magazines

Edith Zimmerman is a writer and editor living in Brooklyn.