Internet rumors that popular musician Kanye West perished in an automobile accident are completely untrue. Also not dying today: troubled singer Amy Winehouse (heroin overdose), screenwriter Diablo Cody (lockjaw), ABC News White House correspondent Jake Tapper (exposure to second-hand smoke), sculptor Isamu Noguchi (already dead), and Louisiana Senator David Vitter (napkin dermatitis). So don't believe any of these if you see them. Except Noguchi.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
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Glenn Beck (poisoned, left for dead in his bunker)
Don't tease.
Kim Zolciak (wig strangulation)
I have it on good authority that Noguchi is splitting a 2BR duplex in Havana with Tupac. But SHHHH.
Noguchi's dead? Why didn't anyone tell me? I bet my coffee table is worth a fortune now...
Yes. Yes, it is.
Napkin dermatitis?!?
Balk, you are the essence of what public service is all about.
I'm just using it as one of the "make your own reality" exercises. Dream it into existence!
Ann Coulter (turned to stone after seeing own reflection in shield of Perseus).