This accounting of the famous (whoa, dial it back: not famous! Or: famous somewhere around Union Square, by that one corner?) Jet Blue Thrillist JetMystery junket written by Liz Armstrong is totally hilarious and fun. "It wasn't just media and PR enjoying these luxuries; CEOs and representatives from companies sponsoring these indulgences came and partied with us too. So it was no secret that we were bought. We signed a piece of paper acknowledging that we were. But we did not suck a dick for 15 bucks in someone's Astro van while he let the engine run. No, we were expensive whores." Even though the beginning is crazy (Somehow she thinks we're on a judging spree about this, but really we just started assembling a list of the attendees. STOP PROJECTING! You're thinking of RYAN TATE and JEFF BERCOVICI! Some attendees actually emailed us and asked to be added!) And also her ending is delightfully nuts. (There may be no ethics-at-large any more, as the writer points out-but there do remain at least the ones you make for yourself.) And then the comments are somehow all about how we are... jealous? Oh honey. I've already ridden on an Airbus A-320 with screaming young people; the Fort Lauderdale flight on Fridays looks just like all your pictures. (Also, faggots don't like Jamaica!)
Friday, October 23, 2009
28
Jamaica? You brought her, you make her.
Jamaica? Why, I hardly know you!
jamaica? no, she did it entirely of her own volition.
Also, if you're ever been to one of those places (Sandals, Beaches), you know that the food is terrrrrrrrrrible.
Oh, it's true! And the booze is watered down.
"basically the absolute worst nightmare these sponsors could’ve imagined..." Um, no. Their worst nightmare is that nobody would go. Also, the one sucking dick in the van for a few Lincolns does it out of need... not because (s)he is a whore at heart, you know, like you.
Also, I know that's her photo. But can we please make fun of media dicksuckers without resorting to piling on the boring old same (pic" ha ha ha fat white (probably) Christian O'Reilly fans)...
Faggots also hate Sandals. Aren't they the "a couple is defined as a man and a woman" place? Blech.
They're the "a couple is defined as a suburban man and woman". My friend went there a week ago for his honeymoon (I know right?!) and the pics look like a pool party in Jersey.
They apparently just changed that "policy" a few years ago. But yeah.
Yuck.
Well I think gays may hate Jamaica as they are the "kill gay tourists" place.
http://rodonline.typepad.com/rodonline/2008/04/jamaican-touris.html
Yeah, that was part of Sandals' excuse making. "Gays can't come here! They'd just get killed!" Sort of like the army now with DADT.
Yes, Buju Banton and others advocate the torture/killing of teh geighs and I don't think anyone in Jamaican tourism has ever distanced the country from that and so yeah. Pretty abhorrent.
Which sucks for them, because I would gladly smoke lots of their delicious weed and give them my money, if they didn't want to shank my nuts and string me up a tree.
All-inclusive resorts are bad for locals and the environment. And, yes, the food is vomitrocious. But free is free.
There ARE good ones, actually.
Sandals/Beaches is just the Carnival Cruise Lines of the all-inclusives.
Sigh. We need DFW to sort it out.
Sigh^2...
Can you please recommend a good resort? I'm supposed to be planning a Caribbean getaway for my girlfriends in February but am stumped on where to go.
We're not the panties-around-the-ankles type but still looking for some place that's not a NJ turnpike dance club or an all honeymooners makeout session.
Oooh, yes!! I've been to a TON, and so depending on what types of things you like, I may be able to recommend something. Just got back from here and it was wonderful!
(If you want to email me, feel free!)
Why not Cuba?
Why can't I go to Cuba? Two of the four ladies are lawyers and they've actually disbarred people for travelling to Cuba in the past...so it's kinda scratched off the list until I stop practising.
Don't worry about it, our President is a socialist. You'll be fine.
Tuna Surprise sounds like your best reference, but in general stick way to the South, except Aruba, which is a desert with card tables. St. Lucia is pretty bitching. So is Caricou, unless you're allergic to Germans. Mustique is awesome if you can afford it.
Aruba is good for jewelry shopping!
But if you're all the way down in the A-B-Cs, you may as well go to Bonaire. Bonaire is awesome!
Also, Grenada has surprisingly (at least for me) awesome beaches.
St. John USVI, if you like laid back. We stayed at the Westin, but I heard you can rent a house with a pool and a chef/cook for similar money.
I love St. John foreva eva.
Hooray! New Awl T-shirt slogan idea:
"Faggots don't like Jamaica!"