JESUS CHRIST, IT TOOK ME 49 SECONDS TO EVEN FIND THE "TABLE OF CONTENTS" LINK ON THE NEW YORKER'S WEBSITE. All I can see is "MOST EMAILED" and "FOLLOW US ON TWITTER" and a "GET A FREE UMBRELLA" and BUNCH OF DAMN BLOGS and a parade of podcasts that, does anyone listen to those? Maybe they do, I don't know, I don't have a long commute or whatever. Seriously, what the hell people! I want to read your word-based content, I do, I value it, but you are hurting me here! Oooh, a new Vijay Seshadri poem!
Monday, October 5, 2009
19
You're just two clicks away from the Malcolm Gladwell Rogaine Pez Dispenser.
Did someone say "free umbrella"?
That is no ordinary umbrella. It's is designed by a guy in Boston based on, like, the air-flow over the wing of an albatross or something, and WILL NOT TURN INSIDE OUT IN THE WIND.
If I didn't already have a subscription I would sign up just for that fucking umbrella.
Albatross? Albatross! It sounds like a Monty Python sketch. Course you don't get bloody wafers with it, it's a bloody albatross isn't it?
It's an ex-albatross.
Diagnosis: The columns of the page need Ritalin and Valium (to focus the chaos and halt the desperation), while the body of the page needs Effexor...and maybe some Adderral (to wake up and get organized).
If you can diagnose and treat this, perhaps you can diagnose government web pages. The only thing to compare them to is a phone call made to a government agency, enless and fruitless.
I have a hidden talent for placing successful phone calls with government agencies. I do take a limited number of consultant projects, and will take payment in pharmaceuticals.
Also, at one point it was next to impossible to subscibe to the RSS feed for an individual blog! If you were looking at James Surowiecki's blog (FOR INSTANCE) and just clicked on the little RSS thingie in your browser you would get the feed for the entire damn site or something. I had to find someone else's blog's RSS feed address and then guess at Surowiecki's by analogy, which, not ideal, obviously.
Although the use of the term "free gift" indicates a persisting if eyeball-grating division between sales and editorial.
*clap *clap *clap
Choire, I've noticed myself going ALL-CAPS a lot more recently on the internets. You seem to be going there as well.
I wonder if this is the phase of global economic meltdown when we all get very angry and burn the whole place down.
Or maybe it's just the ceaseless increase in global stupidity.
or, as in my case, a sheer laziness towards writing out the code to make italics.
Hey, that reminds me that I still haven't retrieved my Portfolio umbrella from the @couple.
I'm getting the travel mug. But only if it's been filled with bourbon.
I would seriously like to know how many blogs and sub-blogs there are on this site. And no, no one listens to the podcasts, do they?
I'm seriously thinking of cancelling my overseas subscription (which they kindly renewed without waiting for my yes or no [yes you did you weasels]just so I don't have to even look at the link to the totally unreadable digital version. It's web 3.0's version of New York Public Library microfiche.
The digital version is an instrument of torture, plain and simple. I am moved to violence with each futile attempt to navigate it.
Try reading it this way instead:
http://iphone.newyorker.com/tny-iphone/#_home