Thursday, October 29th, 2009

GDP Growth Proves We Don't Even Need All These Unemployed Losers

The most hilarious of the RECESSION OVER stories this morning-on the news that the GDP increased by 3.5% over a year ago-comes from the Washington Post. How are consumers doing? "Armed with cash from government support programs, consumers led the rebound in the third quarter, snapping up cars and homes." Really! Snapping up, you say, with their… cash for clunkers money? The other tier of our fine country's growth: "The cheaper dollar is aiding U.S. exporters, making their goods less expensive to foreign buyers. Exports of U.S. goods soared at an annualized rate of 21.4 percent in the third quarter, the most since the final quarter of 1996." (Oh hey, maybe this means the national debt is now less than 70-something percent of the GDP? No?) So what does this mean? It actually seems to mean: If the government spends a big bunch of money, and if the dollar is also depressed enough to make international export attractive, then we basically don't need 20% of the active workforce to have the jobs they don't have! This bodes really well for the future. (And for us having death panels, and stadiums full of live human cage matches.)

17 Comments / Post A Comment

KarenUhOh (#19)

The "snapping up" in the housing market–which we're told is the belwether of the whole darn thing–is attributed to the $8k tax credit for first-time buyers, aid to lenders to lower mortgage rates, and "help" to those facing foreclosure: i.e., eight grand off your 4/15/10 bill to encourage you to take on that $400,000 mortgage, even though you're about to get laid off; $$$ to banks to sucker even more marginals into taking on huge debt; and two months' grace period for you to figure out that you're financially fucked, before they take your house away for good.

Yeah, party on. I'm going out to buy a Yukon.

brianvan (#149)

I love you, Choire.

No, 20% of the workforce isn't needed at all. So, let's put on those old George Carlin comedy albums and see if those ideas for PPV death matches hold up at all.

Don't bogart all the love for Choire. I gots plenty of it too. And I'll bring over my old Richard Pryor albums.

josh_speed (#97)

All the world's a market /
And all the men and women merely playahs /
They have their exeunts and their entrances /
Well–more exeunts than entrances…

johnpseudonym (#1,452)

We're in the money, we're in the money. We've got a lot of what it takes to get along! We're in the money, that sky is sunny, Old Man Depression you are through, you done us wrong. We never see a headline about breadlines today. And when we see the landlord we can look that guy right in the eye. We're in the money, come on my honey, let's lend it, spend it, send it rolling along!

dado (#102)

I have trouble snapping up my pants thanks to the Dollar Menu at McDonalds.

But it's worth it because you have that certain je na sais qua of being an menu-naire.

But it’s worth it because you have that certain je na sais qua of being an menu-naire a dollar menu-naire.

Still not funny. But now at least decipherably unfunny.


riggssm (#760)

MSNBC "reported" on this early this morning.

The hair-do explained how a recession is born, but fell off the sanity bus by saying that it's "technically" over. She went round corporate and financial bailouts, lauded a program encouraging torpid sloths to buy more vehicles, claimed it doesn't really matter if it's over, and then she giggled.

At this point, my remote control involuntarily impacted the wall. Fifth time this week (and the only things I watch are morning news and baseball games).

Bittersweet (#765)

This is why I only listen to NPR for morning news. I can't see the hair-dos, and the giggles are more resonant and soothing.

brent_cox (#40)

But OMG how bad is The Takeaway with its little interstitial SFX designed to sound like you're actually surfing the Internet?

toadvine (#1,698)

Awesome is the hand-wringing over the slow re-sales in the housing market. The talking heads say things like:

"but sales in the housing market remain stagnant, as people who owe more than their house is currently worth are stuck in their homes. Until home values go up the market is likely to remain frozen."

Then they follow up by explaining that "the stagnation of home values is largely the result of the tremendous run-up in home prices during the economic boom."

So the equation is — until we get more artificial inflation in home prices no one will move and our economy will remain naturally flat.

GiovanniGF (#224)

Does that mean it's okay for me to start carrying my Birkin around again?

NinaHagen (#131)

These cage matches…will there be Luddite Zombies?

Baboleen (#1,430)

Local small business that can manufacture durable goods for americans (not exports) have to be supported by small to mid-level banks to get money flowing locally. The government needs to help the little/med. level businesses- (including banks) CAUSE BIG BANKS AREN'T LOANING!! ENOUGH WITH THE BIG BANKS ALREADY!! I think maybe, if businesses and homeowners stop going to big banks, then they will losen their belts. Secondly, when the average American who has a less-risky bank loan, is losing their home because of job loss, or because they need to sell but can't, is america's banking system going to forgive them? It's going to have to happen, cause these people are who comprise the second wave of forclosures and bankruptcy's. I'm rambling cuz I'm so MAD.

HiredGoons (#603)

All of this would be a non-issue if we just outlawed literacy among the poors.

Abe Sauer (#148)

GDP is a bad measurement of anything except GDP.

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