From time to time, we like to check in on the advanced mating competition that is the London Review of Books classified ads Personals section. Recently, the elaborate attempts to meet and dally have reached dizzying, mysterious new heights. We have three recent favorites! Now let us present the awards for best man-seeking-woman, best woman-seeking-man, and best homo.
Best ad by a straight woman:
You are the best person ever.
Best ad by a straight man:
Please do!
Best gay ad:
What can I say? I want to do them all.
No sex please, we're English?
You went into jail in the summer. It is fall now. You will have stories to cover â€" The aspens will already be turning. They turn in clusters, because their roots connect them. Come back to passion â€" to me at Box 16/25
HA. I was just thinking about that the other night!
These are the worst book reviews I've ever read.
Okay. Just read this one. This must win SOME kind of award right?
"Sulky M, 68, seeks acquiescent wife or punctual urologist. Preferably one in the same. No perverts/slackers.
box no. 19/08"
damnit i've tried to write up an ad pertaining to myself for the past hour but that scary 52 yo woman is simply not to be beaten, at this game anyway.
WHY IS THE GOAT BLEATING? Is he shackled?
YES!!! I have a whole book of these!
"Interests are sodomy and Mozart"
"They Call Me Naughty Lola"? I seem to remember reading somewhere that they're putting together a Volume 2. Yay!
Yes! I hope so. The NYRB has some pretty choice ones too. It's all Weekends in Maine and Artful Oral Explorations.
Scary woman!
Where are the Heroin and Diaper wearing adds?