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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

37

Every Woman In Britain Is Drunk Right Now

Vomiting ladette"A DRUNKEN young girl's night out ends with her hunched and heaving in the road – next to a poster urging moderate drinking," reports Britain's Sun of an incident that took place, of course, in Cardiff. "Figures show British women drink twice as much as in any other nation – increasing their risk of alcohol-related death, crime, sexual diseases and accidents." So for those of you inclined to tut-tut the paper for cheap sensationalism, be aware that this is an actual news story pegged to Britain's terrible female drinking problem. Anything else? "The sickening scene in our main picture was in Cardiff. But there are similar degrading sights across Britain every weekend – as this investigation by The Sun reveals. See slideshow, below, for pics of lashed-up lasses." Ah, yes, the slideshow! Thanks for that! (Below, in at attempt at gender equity, a recent Sun piece that shows the men of Knifecrime Island can be just as staggeringly drunk as the women.)

How much do I love this headline?We need to use the word "lout" more on this side of the pond, don't you think?

37 Comments / Post A Comment

hockeymom
hockeymom (#143)

The only way the lad's outfit could be any more spectacular is if he added a pair of over-the-thigh leather boots.

sox
sox (#652)

Is it just me or is that a lot of pee?

hockeymom
hockeymom (#143)

photoshop?

LondonLee
LondonLee (#922)

Didn't need many pixels to hide his todger, did they?

Bittersweet
Bittersweet (#765)

Well, you know, I'm guessing "drunken binge" = anywhere from 6-10 pints.

EvilMonkey
EvilMonkey (#1,063)

Better to desecrate than defecte, I always say. Just shakin' the dew off the lily, onto the poppy. His shirt and underware combo are rockin it, but those shoes are too tres trendy, nes pas? How do you get shoes to look like feet that have been walked through shit, piss, vomit and... oh, crap. Those ARE his feet.

sox
sox (#652)

WHOA. Great observation. I had realized!

WellThen
WellThen (#1,251)

"N'est-ce pas."

Sorry, couldn't help it. Carry on. *shuffles away*

EvilMonkey
EvilMonkey (#1,063)

danky shane

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

Dear Britons: please start dressing in mod fashion again.

thnx,

HG.

andj
andj (#1,074)

Some slideshow! 3 of the 8 pictures are of the same woman.

Ted Maul
Ted Maul (#205)

What is 'Sports Technology'?

Mindpowered
Mindpowered (#948)

Kinesiology without math. Or Physics. Or even Biology.

Ted Maul
Ted Maul (#205)

Oh, thanks! That make sense. I was thinking Deadspin...

Mindpowered
Mindpowered (#948)

For the Yanks here.

1 Lout = 1.75 Tucker Max's.

Baboleen
Baboleen (#1,430)

I can hear Ireland cheering.

toadvine
toadvine (#1,698)

Why is THE SUN so anti-party???

LondonLee
LondonLee (#922)

Because none of the girls are showing their tits.

I like 'Knifecrime Island' - sounds like a reality show.

toadvine
toadvine (#1,698)

It kind of sounds like a hardcore band I would gone to see when I was 15.

LondonLee
LondonLee (#922)

"Lout" is often used with the prefix "Lager-"

DorothyMantooth

I believe I would henceforth like to be known as a gadabout & a lagerlout.
Please make a note.

Maevemealone
Maevemealone (#968)

What's the difference between a lout and a yob? I really like using yob whenever possible

Bittersweet
Bittersweet (#765)

Like yelling at panhandlers to get a yob?

NotAndersonCooper

Those Nottingham girls really knock me out.

WindowSeat
WindowSeat (#180)

Enough cider and everyone is a British Lout.

resipsaloquacious

Poor Agyness [sic?] Deyn [sic?].

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

She-is-get-ting faaaaaaat!

shostakobitch
shostakobitch (#1,692)

When will the Temperance League get their act together and finally stage prohibition of all spirited beverages for once and for all? All other drugs are illegal! Daemon Rum should be too!

EvilMonkey
EvilMonkey (#1,063)

I agree, Demon Rum is a pestilence upon society. Vodka and Whiskey on the other hand are above reproach.

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

Hendricks.

DorothyMantooth

Plymouth. Also good.

EvilMonkey
EvilMonkey (#1,063)

Gott Dayum! I have to get me some Cardiff! Come ON Las Vegas, those Brits are putting you to shame. If the boozin tourtists find about that marathon house party Cardiff has been throwing (up), you can turn off the lights and blow up all the casinos. No wonder Torchwood chose that place; the night life is off the scale.

TerseNursePornstein

British women are compelled to drink twice as much as in any other nation if they are to continue shagging British men.

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