Congressman Insincerely Apologizes to Flowers

OH HIJeff Flake [R, Arizona] went for a week to a deserted island because he was feeling like a “pansy” in modern society, what with the plumbing and cars and real life all around him. “Congressman Flake didn’t realize that that word can have a negative connotation. He simply meant ‘wimpy.’ He apologizes if anyone took offense to it.” -Jeff Flake’s spokesperson.