Chinese media have confirmed what we in the West suspected all along: that concealed in the northern Swedish woods is a city of 25,000 women, many of whom have turned to Sapphic love to satiate their natural Scandinavian sexual desires. According to news agancy Xinhua, the all-female enclave is called ‘Chako Paul City’, and was founded in 1820 by a ‘wealthy widow’. The city is guarded by two blonde sentries who prevent men from entering. Those chaps who do unwisely attempt to force the issue risk being ‘beaten half to death’ by Nordic gender police.
“At 25,000 residents, the town would be one of the largest in northern Sweden, and I find it hard to believe that you could keep something like that a secret for more than 150 years,” says a Swedish official looking to cast doubt upon the story, but when one reads very solid-sounding supporting details such as, “women who decide to leave the town to fulfill their carnal desires are only allowed to re-enter Chako Paul City if they agree to bathe and undertake several other measures designed to ensure that their out-of-town trysts don’t negatively affect the mental state of other women in the town,” it’s hard not to imagine that such a place exists. Or, at they very least, should.