Strange now to think of you, Twitter,
gone without RTs and bit.lys.
Broken
or frozen
or whatever tkFAIL will ultimately
come to be the agreed-upon online
witticism for this glitch that is
happening right now.

I worried about you at first.
And how Strange to worry about technology, like
Heidegger.
Burroughs can't tweet from Tangiers,
I don't think he's coming back.
I do not need more things to worry about in life,
I thought:
even as my steady accumulation of said stresses
flows like the unending torrent of spammy porn bots
who follow me
doggedly
through the timeline
of my online persona.

No! Just as I will not be tricked into thinking I might
want to have sex with those fake but attractively-headshotted
women,
nor shall I be tricked
into worrying about the efficacy of a
social networking service.

Twitter, they say you have $100 million
in new investment capital.
Go fuck yourself with your atom bomb.

Seth Colter Walls writes about culture for Newsweek and is the Awl's Assistant Chief Poetry Parodist.