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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

30

Why Are Winter Kids So Darn Stupid?

This kid is gonna be STUPIDWhy do children who are born in the winter earn less, leave school earlier, and die sooner than their counterparts who are born at other times of the year? A new study by two economists finds that the "percentage of children born to unwed mothers, teenage mothers and mothers who hadn't completed high school kept peaking in January every year. Over the 13-year period, for example, 13.2% of January births were to teen mothers, compared with 12% in May — a small but statistically significant difference, they say." Your editor, a December baby, would add that alcohol and apathy may also play a role, but what do I know, I'm no scientist. Because I was born in winter!

30 Comments / Post A Comment

Choire Sicha

Oh. And me, in November. No wonder we are waste cases.

BoHan
BoHan (#29)

Brother. Size 10? Right. I'm on it.

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

I'm a February baby, and my genius is only exceeded by my modesty.

Bittersweet
Bittersweet (#765)

Ditto on the February, the genius and the modesty.

Mindpowered
Mindpowered (#948)

We know what your parents were doing last summer. Or at least what they were doing in the car after Prom.

"Or they wonder if there might even be a "prom" effect at work. January is, after all, about nine months after many of those soirees."

http://www.economist.com/blogs/freeexchange/2009/09/whats_wrong_with_winter_babies.cfm

sox
sox (#652)

Somewhere out there is a poor girl named Bristol who can explain all this and more to us.

sox
sox (#652)

Alcohol, apathy, and don't forget the that sheer sluttiness of April - trifecta!

Flashman
Flashman (#418)

Christmas Eve. I'm still coming to terms with the psychological scarring - always having 'my' day overshadowed by that other dude.

NotAndersonCooper

I share this day with you;let's not forget the trauma of combined presents - Not to be confused with the Drama of children without gifts.

wiilliiaamm
wiilliiaamm (#225)

as a child who has the most unfortunate of all birthdays: December 26th...when everyone is all hungover and the childs happiness is a mere afterthought...I peh on your Christmas Eve birthday--

mathnet
mathnet (#27)

I'd say, scientifically, that most women who use birth control and plan their pregnancies? Pick spring/early summer as their preferred birth-giving times.

mathnet
mathnet (#27)

I was born in April, poor dummies.

Tuna Surprise
Tuna Surprise (#573)

I think you're on to something. Who plans to have a baby in December? Nobody. Winter babies are unwanted, unloved and neglected.

Full disclosure: I'm an April baby, too. But you probably could've guessed it by the fancy graduate degree hanging on the wall and the balance in my checking account.

Colonel Mustard

Whatever. You know, people are down on us Winter Babies, and saying that we don't think good and stuff, but I have excellent problem-solving skills. Like, when I realized that my wine bottle wouldn't fit into the cup holder in my Dodge Dart, I just grabbed a roll of duct tape and McGyvered that shit. IN YOUR FACE, APRIL.

formerly it takes a lot etc.

April? That means you prepare my dinner, since I was born in July, the very opposite of, um, winter.

notwavingbutdrowning

Also -- in many parts of the country there is hardly anything more utterly miserable than being pregnant during the sweltering heat of the summer months. This makes the ideal delivery date in April/May/June.

I'm a June birthday. I "tested well" as they say.

I've just learned that my squandered talent and intellect is apparently the result of undiagnosed ADDD -- common with quiet girls who didn't cause any trouble and who seemed bright but never seemed to perform to their abilities but back in the day of 35+ student class sizes who had time to worry about those kids not living up to their potential. They just called it being spacey back then.

Whatever. Sigh. Yeah. Uh, so "June Bug" is one of my favorite movies.

Wait. What?

Abe Sauer
Abe Sauer (#148)

Vitamin D. No joke.

lululemming
lululemming (#409)

Maybe because dey gets put in teh Kintergarden Cop classes with kids borned many months ahead of them and are perpetually at a developmental disadvantage vis-a-mastercard age what with the intellectual development of 5ive year olds being so rapid, like.

P.s. my birdday is less that one monf away. Please give me the monies for science grants what I can make a paper mache volcano with.

kitten_witawip

My birfdaze in 3 weeks. I think alcohol and St. Valentine had something to do with it.

jolie
jolie (#16)

Only one tag necessary here: BALK'S MOM GOT KNOCKED UP ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY

Mindpowered
Mindpowered (#948)

MILFS, LETS GET SOME NEW GOOGLE ADS UP HERE,

formerly it takes a lot etc.

"SingleMomsandDads.com"

If prefer single to married ILFs, so all I can is, single, single, single, mother, mother, mother.

chia
chia (#405)

babies conceived on spring break.

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

Icy impasses mean less access to prenatal care.

Pop Socket
Pop Socket (#187)

In The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell proves that in order to be a Canadian hockey star you have to be born in January or February. Kinda proves the thesis.

notwavingbutdrowning

Oops. I missed your comment and kind of duplicated your reply. But now I'm wondering, did MG write about this in both of his books?

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

Brain Freeze.

GetItOn
GetItOn (#1,182)

What is it about having sex without protection in March? Is it the Catholics giving up abstinence for Lent? Do hideous Spring pastels lead to idiot kids?

With this information, colored condoms and sponges should be in every Teens Easter basket. With a Plan B afterdinner mint.

notwavingbutdrowning

Malcolm Gladwell's -- uh, let's call "uneven" -- book Outliers has some nice charts and stuff on why NHL hockey players are generally born early in the year (Jan-Mar).

http://www.fromtherink.com/2008/12/10/688210/malcolm-gladwell-and-hocke

This early birthday theory can be applied to school performance as well. In early childhood the difference of 6-12 months is significant. The younger kids are not as strong in sports (their coordination and motor skills are not as developed and they tend to be smaller) and the same is true for cognitive milestones.

This has always been clear to teachers and parents -- at least the ones who are paying attention.

But it is always nice to know that what is patently obvious is also scientifically true.

katiebakes
katiebakes (#32)

But it is always nice to know that what is patently obvious is also scientifically true.

Seriously can you blurb Gladwell's next book and have it be only this one quote printed in the size of the cigarette warning labels they have in Europe?

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