Very serious website Christwire.org put up a brutal screed about Gawker, which includes "exclusive behind-the-scenes secrets" about some current and former employees of that organization. This is the one that hit closest to home:
Choire Sicha: Once the chain-smoking Leni Resinfal of New York's blogosphere, whispering in his dear leader's ear and getting the little people synchronized for his lens, he now lives in postwar obscurity, trying to reclaim his artiste status with witty pleas like "Be Less Stupid Now" and servicey columns on such pressing topics as "Lying to Your Doctor About How That Hamster Got Stuck Up There" on a blog with his old bunkmate Adam something or other.Choire's too much of a gentleman to express his opinion, but I'm not afraid to say that this is terribly hurtful and rude. Also, "exclusive behind-the-scenes secrets"? These facts are all a matter of public record!
This is the second time in a week I've been accused of gerbiling. (Deadspin also, obvs.)
It's a well-known historical fact that Resinfal madly loved Gerbils.
I think you should change your avatar to the photo on this post. Hilarious.
Choire every word quoted is a compliment. I invite you to look at it that way.
I would think you'd be more put out by the fact that they used your chunkster photo. (I love your chunkster photo.)
Ah, then you really didn't read the Daily Beast comments, did you? ;-)
Leni Resinfal? Do they mean Zippi Wuppingdal?
I remember Leni Resinfal- nice girl, went to Brandeis. We used to have drinks in Murray Hill, she'd vent to me about all the guys her controlling mother was trying to set her up with. Been years, I think she's a lesbian in Santa Fe now, doing pottery and some freelance actuary work.
In spite of her politics, I really admired Leni Resinfal's work in Triumph of the Bill.
Tarnished by her association with Adolph Hilton.
And the Yahtzee Party.
"Insane Refill"
Team Choire and Adam!
About the Author: "Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package!"
As far as we know, Billings has never been admitted to an Emergency Room in a clown suit with an antique Coca-Cola bottle lodged in his rectum.
what the fuck is a Motivational Children's Party Entertainer? Does he go up on a stage with a cheap looking Power Point and give six year olds a pep talk? Fail.
Hey kids! Who wants to have really great parties AND sell AWESOME products to all their friends?! I know I do!
pin the tail on the corporate flow-chart!
Spiegelman wrote that, didn't he?
American Dreamer?
My boy Spiegs would *never* say anything nasty about the lady Spiers. (And he'd certainly never let the Fragrant Englishman come off sounding like a tepid Hai Karate ad. There would be blood, and it would probably contain chunks of meat and gristle. This is why I love him.)
Reads like something on Gawker.
That article was pretty skull-thumpingly amazing. So much haphazard aggression!
"
Gawker’s fanbase is equally repulsive: the ex-Ivy Leaguer, with no investment banking, medical, legal or engineering skills and zero willingness to contribute to our society with actual hard work. They are the refuse of our liberal arts programs, with enough money from their families to rent a studio apartment and buy drinks for strange men in bars til 3am, but without the gumption to embark on a career or, for the women, a family (marriage and children do not fit into the Gawker Ethos for Women). They are the ultimate hipster-hating hipsters, facial-haired and Asian-obsessed sexual scientists, dry humping every pot-bellied New York Times-approved trend til it chafes their vintage-store sweaters.
"
Whoa, they got my number!
You're an Asian-obsessed sexual scientist too?!
No, I buy strange men in bars drinks until 3am and don't want kids.
have we met?
Note the obligatory reference to homosexuality (for men), and the *gasp* idea that the females don't want only to settle down and start procreating.
Get out of my head!!!
Who the fuck are you calling "ex-Ivy Leaguer"??????
I have an engineering degree and skills AND never even applied to an Ivy league school. Suck it writer guy. Then again, I missed the Gawker boat so whatever. The suck it still stands.
I've been known to buy strange men for drinks, but for that you need to wait until closer to 4 am.
Hah, I'm a college dropout from Richmond VA. I wish their stereotype was true--I'd probably have more money.
Eagerly await the column from Adam's Rib.
They're still using all of the Bush-era spellings.
"They are the cut and runners, attacking some of our noblest public figures (such as US soldiers guarding embassies in Afghanistan and Glenn Beck."
That's when I closed Tab.
There are embassies in Glenn Beck?
Glenn Beck contains multitudes.
Balk's cock is still an upstanding member of the Christian community.
I'm sad that I'm too minor of a character to be slandered by the Soldiers of Christ. Even Hamilton got his! You would think the "Fuckin' Jews" tag would've come in handy here. Guess not.
Perhaps the Fuckin Jews tab is exactly what saved you from the Jesus Hammer!
Jesus doesn't read on the weekends.
The only unambiguous record of the Son of Man reading has Him doing so on the weekend (Luke 4).
(Most of the ten or so supposed references in the Gospels to Jesus reading are actually instances of the rhetorical formula: "What, have you never read [... the scripture that says thus and such]?" That's poor evidence, given a mixed oral/literate culture.)
In these recessionary times, I thought having "no investment banking" skills made me a better person. Wrong again!
As expected, the comments on Christwire are golden. From the page for the "I Am Extremely Terrified of Chinese People":
"
if you just found this says:
my advice to all: this is in no way a christian website. go look up “trolling†on urban dictionary. that’s all this is.
chinese ppl: i am very sorry you are reading this. love y’all.
"
Given that the site is a blood libel against Christians, or close enough, I agree that those comments are golden.
I think Denton should start a personal blog called "The Fragrant Englishman."
I would read this (for a week).
Christwire is a prank site, and a very convincing one, apparently.
follows its namesake.
It’s kind of sweet, even as satire, actually, considering the author’s focus and choice of pictures, as though he can’t let go of 2007.
Implying, of course, that you should look at the Gawker departures circa 2007 to find the real author of this piece.
I was hoping Resinfal was some kind of witty joke-- and maybe it is. So witty I don't get it, very gawker (or old gawker).
"Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package!"
What a catch!
"Access to this site is blocked - This Websense category has been filtered: Tasteless"
Well that sums things up right there, doesn't it?
They probably mean Leni Rise n' Fall, the German goddess of the stock market. In which case it might be a compliment.
They say Gawker should be ashamed for spawning, of all things...Queerty? There are like ten thinly-veiled versions of the word 'fag' in that article.
My only question is whether the author is Doree or Emily.
It had better not be either of them. They could have offered it to us!
Are we certain this isn't parody? Check out the "Moral Alerts", http://christwire.org/category/moral-alerts/. I got a kick out of their commentary on the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck.
Well, this is OBVIOUSLY satire:
http://christwire.org/2009/09/laura-bush-killed-a-dude-get-over-it-family-guy-liberals/
Sigh. Why do I even bother with tags?
Sorry. I never read tags until after the fact.
Well, if it's any consolation, Adam, I think the jeenyus of your unread tags could be the next great blog-to-book deal.
Totally never read the tags. Must start. I mean, I was wondering why the site was so readable...
The tags don't show up in Google Reader :( but I will henceforth read them
I read the tags. I read them every time. Never fear that your tags are going unappreciated. It's almost gross how much I read the tags.
If a (sometimes) parody site links to a parody site that has an article about another (of-itself) parody site to which both other sites are genetically beholden and tags this lit fuse with the tag "Yes it's a parody site," then who can keep up anyhow?
How easy IS it to get into a San Fran bathhouse on a Sunday?
God, I really hope it's LOLCait behind this.
CONFIDENTIAL TO THE LADIES IN ALEX BALK FAN CLUB:
Oh, no! Is that a picture of our dear leader in the 'Sacred Heart' t-shirt? What's next? He's actually 5'7" not the 6'1" we imagine hime to be? I think I'm going to be sick.
http://christwire.org/2009/09/gawker-the-blog-that-killed-liberal-print-journalism-is-no-friend-of-conservatives/
CONFIDENTIAL TO ALEX BALK:
If that's you in the t-shirt you might as well wear shorts while you're at it.
I wish. MAYBE ten years ago. MAYBE.
How long until we start seeing Christwire linked by former high school classmates on Facebook? I have tired of the insurance selling, former jock masses posting Fox News articles.
Wow... you've really made it. This made my night. Congratulations Choire, I'm sorry you didn't get a better mention Balk.
ResinFAIL.