Very Recent History: The French Dip
In March 2003 France stated that it would not support a U.N. resolution to invade Iraq. And with that, a nation constipated with 9/11 rage found the perfect place onto which to crap. Heretofore dopey, jocular anti-France sentiment was exchanged for vitriolic, publicly expressed hatred. And yet, six years later, a hamburger demonstrates why the very fervent wrath the right has produced is nothing to worry about.
We invaded Iraq anyway; but that didn't stop the Francophobia. In the ensuing 2004 election, when a Bush adviser told the New York Times that John Kerry "looks French," other media ran with it, shamefully giving it legs and maybe even costing the "surprisingly lifelike" John Kerry an election. James Taranto, of The Wall Street Journal, pounded away on this French connection throughout the election. Limbaugh of course also locked on, referring to Kerry as "French-looking" and "Jean Cheri" Tom DeLay (R-HELL) started speeches saying, "Good afternoon, or, as John Kerry might say, Bonjour." Commerce Secretary Don Evans called Kerry a "fellow of a different political stripe who looks French." There were many more, including Sun Times writer Mark Steyn calling Kerry "America's first French president."
The height of this stupidity came in the form of food wars. In March 2003, all references to French fries and French toast on the menus of the House of Representatives restaurants were removed and replaced with "freedom." Representatives Robert W. Ney (R-Ohio) said at the time, "This action today is a small but symbolic effort to show the strong displeasure many on Capitol Hill have with our so-called ally, France." (Ney would later make a less small effort by taking money from unquestionable ally Jack Abramoff.) The House menu did not revert to offering "French" fries and toast until 2006.
Fudruckers fine dining and the less-fine eating establishment called The United States Air Force both removed "French" as a descriptor of their fries and toast. There were, and are, many websites.
"Iraq first, France next!" and "First Iraq, then Chirac!" were a couple bumper stickers available to express one's opinion on the subject.
Less notable historical documents of the period that played on anti-France sentiment were films such as SWAT, which featured a murderous French gangster as the main bad guy, and Ocean's Twelve and Catwoman, both of which also featured French baddies.
This Francophobia went so far that French's mustard, concerned about flagging sales, was forced to put out an official statement clarifying that its brand came from a family name, not, yuck, from France.
The point is that none of these ridiculous France references would have been possible if a large segment of America was not somehow convinced that the French were indeed goons and against our interests. The Gallup Poll: Public Opinion 2004 noted of the American public's sentiment: "The favorable image of France nose-dived from 79% in February 2002 to 59% in February 2003, and all the way down to 34% in March of that same year…"
Cut to today, five years on, and Hardee's, one of the nation's largest, most popular purveys of food-like substances, has launched its latest contribution to American obesity: The French Dip.
The very demographic that often eats at Hardee's is likely very similar to the lobotomized demographic that fed on, and fueled, the Francophobia of a half decade ago.
Hardee's is even running ads featuring French maids and French kissing with the tagline "It's better when it's French." There is even a Hardee's "French Me" website. And a campaign.
A Hardee's street team will "French-ify Hardee's Fans in 11 US cities:" From the (just shocking) press release [all very sic]:
"What do maids, toast, kisses and burgers all have in common? They're all better when they're French," said Brad Haley, Hardee's Executive Vice President of Marketing… "We Mesdemoiselles cannot wait to pull on our stockings and get a little dirty," said Isabelle, Hardee's French Maid Captain. "Zere are hungry messieurs all over zee country and we are going to French zem all with Hardee's new crème de la crème of burgers…the French Dip Thickburger!"
Nothing at a massive national chain like Hardee's happens because a couple guys in a room decide "what the hell." There are market surveys and testing and consumer research and branding, all looking for the new product sweet spot. That means that some giant New York firm put on their hazmat suits and went out to The People and tested names like "The Man Monster," "Au Jus Delight", "The Hamminator," and "The French Dip," and that these results pointed to a market that most favored "French Dip." This means that just five-odd years after people were whipped into a froth enough to support a move by their elected officials to rename the French fry and shun a presidential candidate over even the suggestion he might "look French," they are willing to pay $4 for a bunch of heated meatish matter on a bleached-white bun named a French Dip.
Jenna Petroff, a very nice public relations manager for Hardee's Food Systems, Inc. filled me in on the French Dip: "We didn't have any concern about anti-French sentiment before and we haven't seen any responses now that the ad campaign has launched to indicate otherwise, In fact, our street team, the French Femmes (four beautiful French Maids on segways) are now in their second month of touring various markets throughout the Midwest and Southeast. They've been very well received, attending sporting events, concerts and other public venues, passing out French Dip Thickburger coupons and taking pics with their fans. You can see more on the tour at www.frenchdiptour.com."
So assuming a PR rep would never lie to me, this means that Hardee's reps, less than six years after a Las Vegas talk radio station held an anti-France public crushing of French products and a Pennsylvania rep and 40-plus co-sponsors introduced House Resolution 119, prohibiting state-sponsored liquor stores from buying French wine, and Las Vegas' Paris (!) hotel and casino removed all its French flags, Hardee's said: "Yeah, French! That's a great idea!"
In a follow up, Jenna told me that, while the company doesn't release numbers, it is "very pleased" with French Dip sales so far.
And in the event she is covering something up (which I doubt), and Hardee's worried themselves silly about how "French" would be received, going so far as to run $10 million worth of market tests, so what? The ultimate result is the same and it's that the thing exists at all and is being widely purchased.
And for the current hullabaloo, that's a good thing. A look at the current health care fearmongering and misinformation campaign reveals a lot of the same players. For (perennial) example, there is Bill O'Reilly. During the anti-France thing, O'Reilly called for a "boycott of France," which, besides not making any sense as one cannot boycott a geographic entity, included bumper stickers and regular O'Reilly segments lying about how much economic damage his viewers were doing. He fanned flames of what was genuine nationwide hatred.
It wasn't until 2007 that the pundit lifted his boycott; though his "boycott France" bumper stickers remained available because "you never know, we may have to re-impose it." Surprise then that Bill is now on about "death panels" and generally encouraging the loons that are turning town halls into gun shows and circuses.
Mr. DeLay, he of the "Bonjour" slur, is fanning the white-hot LCD-flames of the current outrage by making up fairy tales about "quadriplegics on gurneys" being "dumped on the floor in front of my podium."
And how about The Wall Street Journal's James Taranto? Oh here he is: "…the country's culture of freedom [is] deep-seated enough, to thwart any authoritarian impulses Obama and his men may have." (Also, James seems to not have given up on the French thing even though the rest of America has; on Aug. 19 he wrote "…John Kerry, the haughty, French-looking Massachusetts Democrat, who by the way served in Vietnam.")
So America has again shown itself to be a toadying zombie mob with a terrible memory. We quite simply cannot remember what we loved or hated ten minutes ago. Some have worried of late about how the current town-hall-attending anti-socialism "water-the-tree" lunatic fringe is boiling up to "do something." But recent experience, in this case, most likely does indicate future performance. That is to say, it all ads up to cable news theatre and a surplus of embarrassing bumper stickers. Five years from now, the hot Christmas toy will be the new Socialism Elmo. Today's manufactured "socialism" scare is yesterday's anti-France zealotry. And the next outrage is anyone's guess. But we can be sure it will have an expiration date.
By the way, the French Dip thing is delicious.
Previously: The Last of the Hot Summer Town Halls: How We've All Been Fooled by the Health Care Debate
I demand Choi deconstruct this photo of women of the same shade dressed alike!
No redheads, does that mean we hate the Irish now?
we've always hated the Irish.
I would totally eat a "Man Monster," even if it were a sandwich.
OUI
Preemptive apology for the wrong version going up.
Is much improved now. ALL APOLOGIES = EDITING ERROR.
Nice article.
Fuck Carls Jr.
That sandwich makes my colon cringe.
'Nothing at a massive national chain like Hardee’s happens because a couple guys in a room decide “what the hell.†'
Only in the Defense Department.
Great piece.
[And what does 'French-looking' mean to those who fling such slurs? Are they talking about the imaginary 'Gallic nose' possessed by, say, cartoon characters such as Pepe LePew and the cyclist in Les Triplettes de Belleville? Or perhaps they are alluding to the greyness and pallor of complexion that comes with smoking too many Gauloises?]
The first part. About the Gallicness. Which, admittedly, Kerry does kinda' have.
If I were John Kerry, I would just take 'looks French' to mean 'well-dressed' and brush it off as a compliment.
Americans want their president to dress in a ketchup-stained over-sized Packers T Shirt, below-the-gut belted cargo shorts, and Timberlands.
"besides not making any sense as one cannot boycott a geographic entity"
How is it difficult to boycott a geographic entity?! Is there some way in which not going there wouldn't be effective?
Well, one cannot boycott France. Boycott travel to France. Boycott French products. It seems one has to boycott an action or a thing. It doesn't make any sense to me to boycott something's existence.
I boycott Sean Hannity's existence.
All this, of course, was anticipated in Talledega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, in which Sacha Baron Cohen, playing French Formula One racer Jean Girard, almost effortlessly replaces Ricky Bobby in the hearts of America's fast-going car fans, just by winning. Stunning stuff, really.
I'm interested in hating the Prussians, but I can't locate any food named after them.
If you add pee, they have a dressing. GET IT??
I can read.
um, hello!? Prussian Dressing.
One of the largest? Might be overstating the case. It's top 20, sure, but barely. Hardee's is No. 18, despite forcing ugly twin brother Carl's Jr. to now share its slutty ad campaigns — though I'll forever be thankful for the Padma Lakshmi dripping-wet Thickburger spot.
By the way, if you haven't participated in the chain's Name Our Holes contest yet, you're totally missing out.
How do we feel about the Belgians?
I'm a JCVD film scholar. Bloodsport was on the other day. I watched it all. Double Impact was the first time I saw nudity in the theatre.
what in the fresh hell is going on with third from the left's legs? also, marinated labia minora in a bun?
"what in the fresh hell is going on with third from the left’s legs?" I don't know But She makes me feel strange in my no-no place.
i think someone overused the assmeup tool in photoshop.
Photographer doing the angles thing with the legs, and echoed in the fishnets. It is a beautiful rump, though.
Je le ferais de nouveau comme un geste à l'appui de nos troupes, non pas que le soutien de la guerre de Bush
I would do it AGAIN in support of our troops, not in support of the Bush War.
Toujours,
Bob Ney
The Bob Ney Talk Radio Show
Monday through Friday 1-3 p.m. EDT
http://www.wvly.net
Representative Ney, thanks for dropping in to comment. Good to see you've found post-office employment.
If that really is you: Are you implying that your first foray into removing "french" from the House menu was "in support of the troops?"
A Double-Double Whataburger with a Chocolate Shake is a perfectly American substitution to this mess. Reminds me of my grandmother.
Yes, Walter Jones came to me with the idea, I had been with some troops in Morgan County Ohio right before that and it was an emotional departure. In the height of supporting the troops I accepted Walter's idea to be a gesture (never thinking it would get the attention it did) for the troops. It was not supporting George Bush, although, I , like many bought into giving him the authority to use full force based on what I was told. At the end of the day, it was aimed at supporting the troops. As we have found out now, the truth was not presented to us, or the Bush excuse "flawed intelligence" was given to the Congress. We now know how the Constitution was shredded and discarded by Alberto Gonzales. But, I still support what we did as a gesture for the troops and the fact that they were, as many Dem's and Rep's believed, carrying out a needed mission.
Bob Ney
Mr. Ney: Yes, I know the background. The circumstances of how the war was sold and how many voted for it who later regretted it, isn't really my concern. What I don;t understand is that you, a coupld times now, say this action was taken to "support the troops." But the removal of "French" from the House menu occurred in March 2003. I believe this was before any troops were on the ground in Iraq and that this was, in your words, a "symbolic effort to show the strong displeasure… with France." So how did this "support the troops?"
Even though they invaded the wrong country?
I just read all these comments and I am very disappointed no one made any reference whatsoever to Francoise Hardy, eminent chanteuse of the French race. But also I'm not smart enough to say anything clever like "Francaise Hardee!" or whatever.
Fun and yet smart post. And don't forget about the batch of french bad guys in hollywood movies, that has been quite something for a while. As a french man, can I pick the next American pet hate ? I'll say let do the Belgian now ! After all, they invented the fries we suffered for.
Wow. The Belgians seem very unpopular. They really that bad?
If you cannot figure out how that supported the troops, that is clearly your problem. You are mincing words. I supported the war, I have said that. I am simply telling you that I did it to support troops. I am not denying I supported the war. That is clear and simple. If you want to build something bigger into it, you must be bored.
Bob Ney
Well, I am often bored. But in this case I must just be dumb because I don't see how changing the name of a side order supported troops that were not yet in a place where they needed any support. Unless, of course, sitting around waiting to be deployed needs some kind of above average support from a admittedly allied foreign nation.
What I'm asking is for a very simple explanation connecting the dots from "changing french fries on a menu" to "supporting the troops." Pretend I'm a child… which I often am.
In other words- Which. Word. Don't. You. Understand?
I love the irony that is the Statue of Liberty peeing Calvin style on the name of the very country that gave it to us.
Or the irony that Lady Liberty appears to be standing up to pee.
I would like to thank Abe for forgoing the whole New York-hip "I never eat fast food oh my god it's so disgusting" facade and admitting that stuff like this tastes good, to humans.
Yeah, though, it's still killing us. :(