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Thursday, September 3, 2009

33

The Wal-Mart Fat People Mockers Speak

LUKE WHERRYThe team behind "People of Wal-Mart," a site I don't really love, have come out of the closet, revealing themselves to be two brothers (Adam and Andrew Kipple) and a friend (Luke Wherry), who hail from the greater Pittsburgh area and currently live in glamorous Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. The brothers explained the site to CNN.

A KIPPLE

[Andrew Kipple] denied complaints that the photos — many of which attract a string of snarky comments from readers — single out people because they are poor or unattractive.

"If you make a bad decision on what you're going to be out in public wearing, that's what we're looking for," he said. "If you're 400 pounds, you shouldn't be wearing nothing but a pink tube top. Even if you shop at Goodwill, wherever you go, the shirts they sell have sleeves and they have your size."

Adam Kipple, who works as a Web designer for a marketing firm, said he and his brother are frequent Wal-Mart shoppers themselves and that, in a way, their site could be boon to the shopping chain.

"People [who send e-mails wanting to take pictures] say, 'I haven't been to Wal-Mart in years, but now I have a reason to go,' " he said.

They are young (early 20s) and apparently heterosexual, so basically given where they live, on average, in about ten years, they are going to look like the people in the photographs that they are currently holding up to mockitude, so I can't really bear them any ill will. Prematurely fat and balding comes early for most straight people! So sad.

33 Comments / Post A Comment

La Cieca
La Cieca (#1,110)

Yeah, I'm definitely going to take fashion cues from a guy wearing that hat.

lempha
lempha (#581)

Ha! Haha!

Abe Sauer
Abe Sauer (#148)

The guy even has his own "crest." Nothing more classy than that.
http://www.adamkipple.com/kipple_showcase.html

mathnet
mathnet (#27)

I. feel. ashamed.

Maevemealone
Maevemealone (#968)

Don't worry. Seems they're from Harrison City. They are fodder for mocking as Pennsyltuckians themselves.

mathnet
mathnet (#27)

Oh for goodness sake. That is not Pittsburgh!

The population was 155 at the 2000 census.

Matt
Matt (#26)

KEYSTONE.

GiovanniGF
GiovanniGF (#224)

Um, why are you taking it out on us straights? I never put up a site making fun of the poors!

Although you're right, I AM prematurely fat and balding, so maybe I had it coming.

WindowSeat
WindowSeat (#180)

I too am prematurely balding and sorta fat, this explains my terrible luck with men. Hello Ladies!

Choire Sicha

I should be nicer to you straight people, it's true. I don't know what's wrong with me today! You are all beautiful. Plus, you know, you're great in bed!

Liquid
Liquid (#546)

We get bonus points for 'bedding' straights, don't we, Mr Sicha? (Please say yes!)

kitten_witawip

Had I known I would one day turn into Sally Kirkland my opinion would have been much kinder to her each time her photo appeared in the back pages the Enquirer low those many years ago.

valet of the dolls

You're with me, leather.

jolie
jolie (#16)

I'm sure there will come a time when I don't find "you're with me, leather" hilarious. I'm very glad that time is not now.

brent_cox
brent_cox (#40)

Curse you for making me feel like protesting the treatment of straight men.

Renate
Renate (#360)

Yinzers who mock their future selves...hilarious.

iplaudius
iplaudius (#1,066)

Glass houses and such. #1 looks like he could shed a few pounds, not that I care, but he’s the one throwing around “fat” as a pejorative.
#2 is trying too hard. That cap and those glasses, and the studied angle (“my best side!”), serendipitously cropped, all for a Facebook photo? Maybe that’s just what Southern designers do.

SarahHeartburn

Grammar police here - "you shoudn't be wearing nothing but a pink tube top...." ahem.

iplaudius
iplaudius (#1,066)

Unfortunately, it is not incorrect. "Nothing but" is an adverb here meaning "only."

"You should be wearing [something other than a pink tube top]" =
"You should not be wearing [only a pink tube top]" =
"You should not be wearing [nothing but a pink tube top]"

Sarah, you’ve been in foreign lands too long! Come back to American English! Come back to WalMart!

SarahHeartburn

I beg to differ. It's not wrong, but clunky, thus my comments; your alternatives would have been better.

Abe Sauer
Abe Sauer (#148)

I don't care what English says; it is wrong.

Choire Sicha

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, PLEASE HUG.

kitten_witawip

Somebody's gonna lose a finger...

iplaudius
iplaudius (#1,066)

I totally adore SarahHeartburn and gave her a virtual apple in lieu of a virtual hug below!

grandpa27
grandpa27 (#804)

Clean up is a dirty job, but somebody has to do it.

slinkimalinki
slinkimalinki (#182)

deeper issue: "nothing but a pink top" = no pants. gah!

SarahHeartburn

And as a teacher I reserve the right to mark people wrong just because I don't like them.

iplaudius
iplaudius (#1,066)

That apple on your desk? It’s from me.

Abe Sauer
Abe Sauer (#148)

Using the word "explained" here implies that there was/is a rationalization behind the site.

areaderwrites
areaderwrites (#592)

Hmm. Pittsburgh is not exactly a bastion of the *thin.*

My Number Is My Address

Doesn't prematurely anything come early always?

lululemming
lululemming (#409)

Mocking these guys would elicit the exact same feeling you get when you run into someone you had a crush on in highschool, like, 10 years later, and all of the sudden they're "into you".

They're sad and kind of like a petroglyph of the Fonz, and when you really look hard at them, a litle "chipschipschipschipschips!", but you let them touch it anyways, just to satisfy your 16-year-old self.

I will not let you touch it, Kipple Brothers!

yoda
yoda (#1,708)

Visit www.fattiesatwalmart.com

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