The long (coming on 36 hours now!) national Kanye nightmare seems to be over. The dust is settling. Kanye has served the ultimate penance-in fact, having Jay Leno put his hand on your knee seems a little cruel and unusual. (And watch that clip only if you must; really, it's not good for children or other living things.) But still: one very important and highly unanswered question remains.
In Kelly Clarkson's open letter rebuke of Kanye, she included this cryptic bit of personal information:
"It's absolutely fascinating how much I don't like you. I like everyone. I even like my asshole ex that cheated on me over you...which is pretty odd since I don't even personally know you."
We have been waiting a whole day for someone to explain this. Kelly Clarkson had a boyfriend who cheated on her because of her feelings about Kanye West? Or about his own feelings? I'm having trouble imagining the scenario. "Fine! If you don't like Kanye, I guess I'm going to have to look outside our relationship to find someone who can better meet my needs sexually."
Or was it somehow to gain Kanye's favor? "I tried to be faithful. I didn't want to cheat. But Kanye told to me to. And he's that important to me."
Also, the whole "over you" locution is disturbing, evoking as it does accidental, unhappy threeways.
Please, Kelly: Another open letter to explain.
"What would your mom think?" Dick move!
Terrible question. But his mother died almost two years ago. Everyone grieves differently, blah blah blah, but should the question have tripped him up so badly?
Jay Leno doesn't care about dead people.
He interrupted Kelly to tell her that Taylor Swift was better.
I think "over you" means "more than you" here. Maybe it's less confusing in Texas, I don't know.
I have to say this in uptalk?
But maybe it means, "I even like X over Y?"
Where, uh, X is "my ex" and Y is "you"?
MRS WHITE: "He threatened to kill me in public."
MISS SCARLET: "Why would he want to kill you in public?"
WADSWORTH: "I believe she means he threatened, in public, to kill her."
Seems HelloTitty and gregorg have sorted it out. I think she means "I even prefer my ex over you...my ex whom I hate."
OMG, love that.
some participles are dangling me thinks...
"I even like my asshole ex that cheated on me over you" = "My former beau was unfaithful but I still would prefer his company to yours."
Ahh. Thank you. I think you're right. This is less a mystery of celebrity-world relationship mores than a simple case of unclear writing. Good close reading, folks.
Learn to parse!
(Again, I only ever say this out of love.)
Meanwhile someone please knock Arianna down, grab one of her three Blackberries and get Kanye off the Huffpo front page.
Clark's syntax echoes Groucho Marx's "one morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know."
If you're trying to out-dick Kanye, this is a feeble attempt.
I'm more upset about what he did to Swayze.