Former Bush speechwriter Matt Latimer has a book coming out about that administration's final days, and GQ's got an excerpt. The whole thing is worth a read, but here's one of my favorite parts: The president assesses his potential successors.
The president, like me, didn't seem to be in love with any of the available options. He always believed Hillary Clinton would be the Democratic nominee. "Wait till her fat keister is sitting at this desk," he once said (except he didn't say "keister"). He didn't think much of Barack Obama. After one of Obama's blistering speeches against the administration, the president had a very human reaction: He was ticked off. He came in one day to rehearse a speech, fuming. "This is a dangerous world," he said for no apparent reason, "and this cat isn't remotely qualified to handle it. This guy has no clue, I promise you." He wound himself up even more. "You think I wasn't qualified?" he said to no one in particular. "I was qualified."
"This cat"
Whoa, Daddy-o, cool out!
'cat'?
GDub, the hepp, mod Prez!
hepp?
hep.
Also, I am slow.
In other news, Mr. Balk, your penis seems to have taken off and formed its own identity, like the Nose in Gogol's story!
Cock
http://failblog.org/2009/09/10/name-fail-7/
Nose
http://h42day.100megsfree5.com/texts/russia/gogol/nose.html
i know! so adorable seeing it come to life like that. but rather more clean cut than i would have expected.
Cat, meet mouse.
(holds up sign with images of screw and baseball)
There should be no mistaking that while guys like Bush are the faces of the increasingly inept, backwards politics of America, there are countless guys like Matthew here who should receive no less scorn just because, you know, he was a little guy who now gets to sit back and speak off it all like it was an NFL season and he was just a guy playing his position. The whole is the sum of its parts.
The most interesting aspect of this quote is how much Bush is controlled by his "gut," his "instincts." It is also most telling that on the subject as to who would succeed him -- as on so many other things -- Dubya was utterly and completely wrong.
What is interesting is that he not only assumed that Hillary would be the nominee but that she was going to win the election. Looks as if he wrote McCain off from the start.
Oh, his instincts were right - reality just failed him. We all failed him.
"Even more distressing, he was wearing Crocs."
Wha???
Dude, have you been out in America lately? It's all about Crocs. Everywhere. Always.
In his defense, they were the latest in petroleum chic.
"(except he didn’t say 'keister')"
holy shit, he's a motherfucking war criminal. At least do him the justice of an accurate quote. Do GQ subscribers get a free nosegay to protect their delicate sensibilities?
Wait till his ass is in a tribunal.
Farvorite part:
Why did I sign on to this proposal if I don’t understand what it does?†he asked.
The president was clearly frustrated with what was going on, but there was little he could do at this late hour. He went up to take a nap, saying he was beat.
"That Matt Latimer - major league asshole."
"Big time."
"and this cat isn’t remotely qualified to handle it." (Except he didn't say "cat").