The Minnesota State Fair is America's most popular. Its daily attendance surpasses all others; this year it set a record of nearly 1.8 million paid visitors. It is called "The Great Minnesota Get Together." And like all get togethers, it's a great place to be reminded of all the things you hate about "get togethers." It's also more sprawling and expansive and rewarding than most visitors initially realize. During my visit, I entered through the swine barn. Would H1N1 have emptied it? (After all, the 1946 fair was canceled due to polio.) No. Still, during the event, a hundred 4-H kids were forced home early because of the flu, giving up their spots in the legendary fairground dorms, the "4-H Hilton." (From wars to fairs, why is it that hellhole quarters are always Hiltons?)
The agribusiness attractions are the focus of the fair. But the fair's mix of agriculture and enchantment found in Rodgers and Hammerstein, EB White and F. Scott Fitzgerald has given way to a polar combo of overcooked conceit and undercooked Neanderthalism, now represented by David Foster Wallace and Kid Rock (with Lynyrd Skynyrd; tickets went for $66, $56 & $41). Minnesota Public Radio's Garrison Keillor over here; canoe jousting by IRONJACK Timber Team Sponsored by STIHL® over there.
In 1928's A Night at the Fair, Fitzgerald wrote, "Because of the agricultural eminence of the state, the fair was one of the most magnificent in America." But Minnesota is no longer agriculturally eminent. At least not to the individual. In Fitzgerald's time, nearly 50% of Minnesotans were farmers. Today only 2% are (not counting as "farmers" the 10,000 MBAs and third world destroyers employed by agribusiness giant Cargill). This is what makes the cattle, swine and horse barns so depressing. They've become a mandatory stop on the way to fried things; they are petting zoos for the 90-some percent of visitors who no longer have any connection whatsoever to the fundamental pillar of local society going back to whatever beginning you're inclined to believe we had. Even most of the administrative attractions of Minnesota agriculture are gone. Machinery Hill, once a place to see the newest, macho-est equipment of farming, is now home to booths and booths of home-improvement porn, lawn mowers and hot tubs for which HGTV watchers can go into debt.
Each year, Minnesota's dairy industry selects a young woman to serve as its spokesperson and, in one of the more charming fair traditions, her likeness is carved out of 90 pounds of butter. Elizabeth Olson, a 19-year-old college student, was crowned the 56th Princess Kay. Olson's achievement is meaningful. The Princess Kay competition demands actual agriculture knowledge. It has no swimsuit element (though she would do fine). Olson's sister Sarah was crowned in 2002 and her sister Lana was a finalist in 2005, making Princess Kay truly American in its nepotism. (Kidding!)
But the deep fried Balsmamic Fig and Horchata is to die for!
Ow my balls/ Idiocracy reference is also priceless.
Speaking of food, what could be wrong about falafel on a stick? Falafel is fried balls of chickpeas; to me, it is begging to be put on a stick. I know it's not Minnesotan, but it hardly seems like an example of grossness. Also, falafel is too good to be considered an annoying, unworthy example, unlike of course grape leaves.
“Every self-portrait should have a parrot and a monkey.â€Â
You've made my day.
The parrot is Reagan and the monkey is Bush, right? Cuz... that would make a lot of sense.
Alan was hilarious over the phone. He's been doing crop art for a decade+ and he said one great thing about it is that, unlike the fine art exhibits where panels decide what to show, the egalitarian crop art people will display just about anything.
I'll be getting my yearly walleye sandwich and lemon shake-up this weekend!
I had walleye. It is too good.
Walleye, panfried in butter. . .Lord Jesus God.
But, my friends? Two Pronto Pups and a Giant Lemon Shake-Up, followed by a trip on Von Ryan's Express, or the Toboggan, or whatever they're calling that 35-mph deathtrap these days, is the rural equivalent of a week at Canyon Ranch.
The Al Franken map thing is freaky.
Well done. This is almost exactly how I remember the Sussex County Farm and Horse Show (which also doubles as the New Jersey State Fair) as a kid. A horror show by all accounts but I liked the funnel cakes.
at the Vermont State Fair they used to race pigs by taunting them with Oreos. Racing to their own deaths, they were.
I have definitely stayed at the "4-H Hilton" and I can truly testify that it is a shithole. I used to imagine that this is what orphans that worked in factories at the turn of the century used to stay in.
Still the Minnesota state fair is supremely awesome. I get that it opens itself up to hipster snark, but never will you find so much delicious fried food in one place.
I think Wisconsin's fair actually has more FRIED stuff. This year they actually did a special fry EVERYTHING promotion. But MN certainly has the better variety overall (like walleye).
I question her choice in footwear.
explains the facial expression, no?
She's just dyin' for a piggyback.
Those are the shoes Teresa Russell wore in "Whore", aren't they?
Oh COME ON. She's like 15 and in FFA and outside the cattle barn. Her family and/or his are probably camped out in the A / B/ C refugee RV/camper lots and they are just looking for a quiet place to flirty flirty and all the only place to do that at the 1.8-million-person-attended fair is on the ramp to the manure pit. Girl needs a break.
You had me at 90 pounds of butter.
Oh shit. Keillor just suffered a minor stroke.
sounds like he's okay and planning to make his appointed/busy rounds
i volunteered at one of the church diners (epiphany) for the first time this year during the breakfast/lunch shift. got a free parking spot 3 blocks from the main gate. yesh! got a free big breakfast. yesh! since i was working/attending on the last day/labor day, many things were discounted including the midway rides - went on Space Roller again and it rocks! They gave us an extra spin for free. yesh! Caught part of the daily parade and the endless parade of people after it. funny hats: Gold'n'Plump chicken visors that look like a chicken head with the bead as the bill, John Deere foam visors with green foam antlers sticking up "nothing runs like a Deere"...and the Gedney Pickle cap that looks like a foot long pickle is sticking out of your head. The guy wearing that one had long hair and it did the thing some justice. Watched Michelle Tafoya interview a lady St. Paul mayoral candidate and contestants using animal sounds to 'buzz in' (moo and oink). Goofiness is in the eye/mind of the beholder. Pass the crepes and fried alligator, please and I'll have a chocolate dipped fruit kabob while I'm at it. mmm. Riders in the Sky sound like the Sons of the Pioneers for sure. Didn't get to the barns or exhibit buildings much. Just made sure I got on that dang Space Roller and tried not to hurl.
Risen Lord Jesus' Peace!
e.t./sue > *:D (: +
proofreader police: BEAK as the bill not bead... duh. oops splat.
and oh yeah, got free admission, too. only money i spent was for that dang Space Roller ride (worth every dime) Find one and go on it.
Aw, Abe, why you gotta dis on Wallace? He managed to write about the fair without pandering, I think!
Um, not really. Look, I LOVE DFW. Before I got my act together and matured I actually used to try and write all in footnotes too. So pathetic. But yes, his fair thing is overcooked and conceited in some areas partly because of the audience he is writing for (Harper's). It is a great essay, like all his essays. But, when he's doing to tourist thing (Maine Lobsters, Cruise ships, etc.) he cannot hie the fact that he really dislikes humans as group mammals.
Can you at least stop calling him "Foster Wallace"?
Yes. That was poor choice. Why'd I do that again?
Um, "Swedish Egg Coffee" at the Salem Lutheran Church, in that photo with the tubae. Can someone please 'splain?
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-egg-coffee.htm
i haven't tried it yet. sounds all right though. maybe i'll try making some. i don't do coffee all that much anyway. H20 all day.
Risen Lord Jesus' Peace!
e.t./sue > *:D (: +
by the way, during weekends about the same time as the fair there's Ren Fest going on about 20 miles southwest near Shakopee (shock a pee), MN which some folks enjoy. Haven't been there recently. Went once years ago. Ren = Rennaissance Festival. Also there's an Irish Fair and a Polish Fair going on a little earlier in the summer. All sorts of church festivals too. There's one coming up that's featuring a Tom Petty tribute band this Friday. Coolness/cool beans.
back to trying to watch NFL, MLB and PGA at the same time. I need another TV or two.
Vikes are winning. Twins are winning. Tiger is winning. I guess some things are right with the world after all.
Risen Lord Jesus' Peace!
e.t./sue < *:D (: +
Somehow I've gotten increasingly allergic to Renaissance Festivals as I've gotten older. It's not so much the expensive food and tchotchkes - you find much the same thing at regular fairs, without the themed names - as the pressure to role play. At a regular fair I don't have to pretend to be Lady Whozit in a bustier.
amen...although the jousts might be fun to watch