Tuesday, September 29th, 2009
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Nasty Australian Yeast Pate Draws Fire For Stupid Name

iWasn'tThinkingAustralians are up in arms over the branding of a new version of the country's national snack, Vegemite-a disgusting spread made from the carcasses of diseased koalas. (Kidding! It's made from yeast extract, which is somehow actually much less appealing.) Kraft brought out a variety of Vegemite that contains cream cheese, which was not a big deal because clearly they'll eat anything over there on Prison Island. No, the real trouble came when the company attempted to "crowdsource" the name of the new concoction (as had been done with the original spread back in 1920).

More than 48,000 people responded to a call to come up with moniker for the new combination…. The winner, as coined by a Australian web developer who, by his own admission, has his tongue planted firmly in his cheek: iSnack 2.0.

The reaction, naturally, has been total mockery, including-of course-a Downfall parody.

AdAge sees a valuable lesson in the perils of crowdsourcing, but there's an equally valuable lesson in this story as well: Australians are far more concerned with what comes out of their mouths than what goes into them. Because, seriously, Vegemite? Ewww.

I do feel bad about the koalas though.

34 Comments / Post A Comment

Mary HK Choi (#1,469)

koalas are retarded. they only eat food they can't digest so they hershey squirt eucalyptus everywhere and smell awful. they need to go. don't feel bad for them. marsupials need to catch up and get placental anyhow. also, vegemite is way less gross than bovril which is properly disgusting.

WindowSeat (#180)

Koalas are also vicious and scratch like velociraptors.

HiredGoons (#603)

They've been biding their time for the uprising. We must act quickly.

kryz (#311)

But they are delicous!

jolie (#16)

Last year a girl told me that my "marsupial hands" gave her the creeps and she stopped making out with me, like, for good. I should have responded that at least I don't smell like eucalyptus poo. DAMN IT JERK STORE NOW YOU TELL ME!!!

mathnet (#27)

Marsupial hands? No idea what that means. What is up with your hands??

jolie (#16)

I dunno! They're small, I guess? (Don't make the cabbage joke, okay please???)

slinkimalinki (#182)

koalas all have chlamydia.

bumcakes (#1,331)

Mary, you forgot that a huge proportion of them have Chlamydia.

Australians or koalas?

Dan Kois (#646)

Not to mention that they are assholes who can't tip properly.

Bettytron (#575)

Unfair! Koalas don't have pockets; not their fault they can't carry cash.

They do have pockets! They're marsupials.

Every time I stayed at a hostel in Europe, it was inevitably filled with a mix of Aussies and Americans. The vast majorities of Aussies traveled with a small container of vegemite, because they apparently couldn't live without it for the three weeks they were cruising through countries known for delicious food. They'd pull it our of their backpacks at meals and talk about how they'd smuggled it in and would all coo about how glad they were that they had it with them.
They freaking LOVE yeast extract spread.

HiredGoons (#603)

Poor, poor Hitler.

Tuna Surprise (#573)

It's terrible we are exploiting Hitler's pain for laughs.

HiredGoons (#603)

"All I ever wanted to do was run a camp!"

Flashman (#418)

Lachen aus loud!

slinkimalinki (#182)

vegemite is delicious. that new stuff is for pussies and i intend to ignore it.

Bored (#1,111)

Vegemite is an abomination, marmite is the true way ! Marmite and cucumber sandwiches, mmmmmmm

HiredGoons (#603)

nutella.

slinkimalinki (#182)

marmite is gross. and stringy. although i'm thinking of new zealand marmite. british marmite may be ok. we will not speak of bovril.

Bored (#1,111)

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Bored (#1,111)

Agreed, Bovril is foul. I remember making hot drinks out of it on camping trips. Do you remember Oxo (used to come in cubes, you mix it with water to make a brown and generally repulsive hot drink)

slinkimalinki (#182)

yes. and while i'm at it, what is that disgusting thing you are supposed to mix with milk to help you sleep? ovaltine?

Bored (#1,111)

Ahh yes. Something that tasted almost, but not entirely unlike chocolate, as I recall.

Australia really is Prison Island. If you swim too far from shore, this big white ball comes bouncing across the water and swallows you.

So Alex, the "I'mma let you finish" meme is old and lame now, but Downfall video parodies are still cool?

Just checking. I'm trying really hard to keep up with this stuff.

ChelseaLane (#1,753)

I grew up on vegemite and I still eat it on my toast today. You can make fun of Australians (I'm not actually from AU, I'm from New Zealand) for their horrible food- but, uhh, just take a minute to think about the origins of the likes of Baconnaise and Pancake wrapped Sausages. Just sayin'.

I'll take Vegemite anyday.

slinkimalinki (#182)

kia ora, bro.

ChelseaLane (#1,753)

kia ora!

*attemps 'sup nod but fails miserably*

slinkimalinki (#182)

*tilts chin briefly*

meerkat (#228)

Vegemite tastes like what I'd imagine a tire tastes like. If you're given a taste without knowing what it is, it's a very nasty surprise.

EvilMonkey (#1,063)

Vegemite (aka, Vegeshite) is, as Chuck Heston discovered, people. It's People! Well, almost. If you combine the soylent red and yellow with the green (that's the people one), you get Vegemite. Now, this iSnack 2.0 shit is VM plus Cheez Whiz, a truly disgusting substance made from the mamarian secretions of bovine mammals. Gack. Enjoy!

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