Good news! You know that skinny bitch-or bastard-whose taut limbs are a constant retribution to your own lifestyle choices? He or she is gonna die sooner than you! "Scientists have found that men and women whose thighs are less than 60cm (23.6ins) in circumference are more likely to suffer from cardiovascular disease, and die prematurely, compared to people with thicker thighs." It's not all positive, though: "They also found, however, that the apparent advantage of bigger thighs did not continue beyond the 60cm threshold. People with thighs much wider than 60cm did not fair any better than those whose thighs hovered just above the threshold." Still, the next time you see some disgusting Williamsburg hipster wearing shorts that stop at his balls, take comfort in the fact that he's not long for this world.