Is The iPhone the Hummer of Cellphones?
This has been irritating me all day, and I can't walk away: "the iPhone is really the Hummer of cellphones." Oh is it? No, actually, it is the springtime of life for the iPhone and it is the Hummer of Death™ for the Hummer. What else?
Hummer: Made originally on contract for the U.S. Military, as the Hum-Vee.
iPhone: Made originally for urban homosexualists and their friends.
Hummer: Very early 90s.
iPhone: Very late-mid-00s.
Hummer: Actually consumes "gasoline"!
iPhone: Consumes bandwidth, which is not always fossil-fuel based.
Hummer: Made in South Africa, Russia, Indiana and maybe someday in China.
iPhone: Always made in Shenzhen!
Hummer: Always works!
iPhone: Usually works!
Hummer: Miles per gallon, 9 to 16.
iPhone: Miles per gallon, a big fat 0.
Hummer: Is somewhat subsidized for purchase in our socialist government, as The State allows deductions for vehicles weighing more than 6000 pounds.
iPhone: Is subject to an astonishingly offensive exclusive and unregulated agreement between the manufacturer and service provider.
Hummer: Is made of dead babies.
iPhone: Now has a removable lithium ion battery, so not as not to be quite as pollutive.
Hummer: Sales in 2008 down 50% from 2007.
iPhone: Sales in 2008 up 88% from 2007.
Hummer: Drivers 11% more likely to die, according to study with dubious math.
iPhone: According to a statistic I just made up, iPhone users are 15% more likely to die while sexting on the road.
Hummer: Bloats the junkyards of America with its indestructible carcasses.
iPhone: Now recycles all phones in North America, instead of dumping it in the third world.
Hummer: Current sales forecasts are for dozens a month.
iPhone: Has more than 6 million owners in the U.S.
The Smart is really the Zune of go-carts.
Hummer: Owners cannot shut up with their proselytizing leading me to believe the hype was unjustified.
iPhone: Owners cannot shut up with their proselytizing leading me to believe the hype is unjustified.
AMEN BROTHER.
Hummer: Excessive conspicuous consumption that owners vehemently rationalized a "need" for.
iPhone: Ibid
What the hell was the point of that NYT article? That at&t is screwing EVERYONE on their network. They knew what the iphone was capable of before they made this agreement, I'd assume. Seems like some kind of strange new marketing strategy.
Articles about Apple products = pageviews = the point of
How many lines of blow does each hold?
Do they still call it blow? Or is this like when your out-of-touch uncle asks you is you know where to buy "reefer"?
you're fine.
Trend alert. These iPhone failures lead to an uptick in pay-phone revenue!
Also, I'm totally rocking the Palm Pre. Girly it may be, but I'm secure in my masculinity.