Essex Man Had Bitch Tits
Essex is obviously a really classy place where there's a ton of pressure to be perfect at all times, innit? The Daily Mirror, which is where I get all my truly reliable news and life affirmations, reported that Andrew Hudgell, 26, from Chelmsford in Essex, had a moob reduction surgery. Then they posted his picture, ensuring that despite no longer possessing soft, hillock-like pectoral topography he will still be openly mocked, since phantom bitch tits are way gay.
Leave the giant Indonesian baby out of this.
Does Jack Nicholson's Scooby Doo Monster Sandwich contain Phytoestrogens?
"In response to a reporter's question about his decision to undergo the procedure, Mr. Hudgell exclaimed 'Having tits really got on my tits, you tit.'"
Essex is England's New Jersey.
I honestly couldn't tell the difference between the before and after pics.
I might *consider* taking my shirt off next to Jack.
I refuse to show sack though.
I lived in Chelmsford for a 4 months in the tail end of ought-four. I was fresh off the plane and looking for a job and some wideboy from a fly by night employment agency sweet-talked me into taking a job there.
The town, by day, is not actually that bad – Habitat and John Lewis in the old town centre, a river with swans. At night though it turns into your typical lad & ladette 'war zone'. London's less than an hour away on the train, but the last train home from Liverpool Street, carrying all the revellers back to places like Romford (where my mother is from, actually), Chelmsford and Colchester, is a complete zoo – a zoo that's had all the cages busted open by a hurricane.
But yeah, maybe if it is like New Jersey, Essex is also totally lovely and beautiful away from the crap towns – it has all the rolling fields and hedges, half-timbered villages and lace doily tea rooms that you could ever need
South Essex is New Jersey – with the A13 as the NJ Turnpike : North Essex is upstate New York.