First came word that the Canadians, who are hosting this winter's Olympic Games in Vancouver, were denying foreign athletes access to practice facilities so that they might have an edge in obtaining those elusive gold medals. Next was news that airplane service to small, inaccessible Canadian towns would be essentially grounded for five weeks during the big event. Now there's a disturbing report that, despite falling population levels, the Canadian government refuses to impose a ban on the hunting of endangered grizzly bears-yes, bears! All of this leads to a rather disturbing question that we must face in spite of our fears: Is Canada turning evil? Has this nation of inert cheese-curd lovers finally gone over to the dark side? And what are the implications for the rest of us? Will we see bands of marauding Mounties pouring over our borders to steal our valuable color television technology and politely molest our most vulnerable? I am sorry to say that the answer is probably yes. Be afraid. These bloodthirsty tundra-dwellers will stop at nothing in their quest to impose their regime of bland affability on the rest of us. Maybe we should just give them Michigan and hope that they think we're making an actual sacrifice.