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Monday, September 28, 2009

11

Bullet-Scored Bit Of Bone Belongs To Someone Who Was Not Adolf Hitler

The skull fragment believed to be that of Adolf Hitler was subjected to DNA analysis and turns out to be that of a woman under 40. What does that mean, Daily Mail?

Scientists and historians had long thought it to be conclusive proof that Hitler shot himself in the head after taking a cyanide pill on 30 April 1945 rather than face the ignominy of capture.... Now the story of Hitler's death will have to rewritten as a mystery – and conspiracy theorists are likely to latch on to the possibility that he may not have died in the bunker at all.
Of course he didn't. How else would he have been able to FATHER BARACK OBAMA otherwise?

11 Comments / Post A Comment

Krugmanic Depressive

Hold your roll. It was Malcolm X who fathered Barack Obama. Hitler's the one who got all mixed up with those Argentine replicant boys and dogs and suchlike.

mathnet
mathnet (#27)

It's like I always say. Hitler was a girl.

GiovanniGF
GiovanniGF (#224)

Goddamnit, you beat me to it.

Ron Obvious
Ron Obvious (#351)

Yeah, Hitler was a dame. Who knew? Wait...apparently mathnet did.

Patrick M
Patrick M (#404)

It doesn't matter if he's a girl; he is still off by one testicle

GiovanniGF
GiovanniGF (#224)

Am I the only one freaked out to find out that Hitler WAS A WOMAN???

Kataphraktos
Kataphraktos (#226)

So we're saying that Adolph Hitler was an alternate personality of the obviously schizophrenic Eva Braun, that Eva Braun ordered the Holocaust, and Eva Braun was Obama's mother? Father? BOTH?!?*

*gotta get that Nazi cloning angle in

sox
sox (#652)

If perhaps a hermaphrodite can impregnate oneself, then yes, indeed, you are correct.

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

"FATHER BARACK OBAMA"

This just in: Barack Obama is a child-molesting Catholic Priest.

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