September 18, 2009

Aquatarians Repent! Kurt Cobain Proved Wrong!

by Dave Bry posted @1:19 PM

Whelp, there goes a nice moral rationalization for eating eating seafood. Turns out goldfish recognize and remember pain and dead salmon recognize human facial expressions. (WHAT.) You kinda always suspected, right? I mean, the way lobsters scream when you stab them.

 
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13 Comments / Post a new comment

  1. tralafel [#1221]

    All these years of wanting salmon to do my bidding and all I had to do was ask.

  2. Ted Maul [#205]

    I can't wait for the next installment of the 'Reel Fishing' video game series, where you can actually fish as Kurt Cobain!

  3. NicFit [#616]

    Oh please. Everyone knows animals don't feel pain.

  4. HiredGoons [#603]

    Sean Konrad is a dead man.

  5. brent_cox [#40]

    Lobsters do not scream when you cook them — they sigh, loudly.

  6. lost_in_transubstantiation [#493]

    I always figured this from the obvious emotional pain Charlie the Tuna displayed from being rejected by Star-Kist.

    (As Choire says, ask your parents, kids.)

  7. brilliantmistake [#108]

    Then all my goldfish torture has not been for nothing.

    The author of the salmon paper posted a nice explantation here (found by following the link above).

    http://prefrontal.org/blog/2009/09/the-story-behind-the-atlantic-salmon/

    Basically, they demonstrated false positives easily result (e.g. dead salmon brain activity) if you don't apply the proper corrections. Just another setback in my dreams of salmon zombie army.

  8. CaptainFantastic [#534]

    Now I wish my break-up with that goldfish in high school had gone a bit smoother.

  9. La Cieca [#1110]

    And now he's sleeping with the fishes. Ironic!

  10. slinkimalinki [#182]

    i have a friend who works on the "eat anything that would eat you if it got the chance". so fish are ok, but i'm not sure about potatoes.

 

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