I have never heard of Mark Whicker. A quick search reveals nothing unusual, nothing that would indicate this to be some sort of clever prank at the expense of sports columnists or our culture at large. There is, of course, the small possibility that it is some kind of prank I am just not getting-it happens!-but in either case, it is one of the most bizarre things I’ve seen in some time. Not yet convinced? Here’s how it opens.
It doesn’t sound as if Jaycee Dugard got to see a sports page.
Box scores were not available to her from June 10, 1991 until Aug. 31 of this year.
She never saw a highlight. Never got to the ballpark for Beach Towel Night. Probably hasn’t high-fived in a while.
She was not allowed to spike a volleyball. Or pitch a softball. Or smack a forehand down the line. Or run in a 5-footer for double bogey.
Now, that’s deprivation.
Oh yes, there is more.