It's September 30th, 2009 which, as you all know, is just three days shy of that life-altering moment we've all been waiting for: the release of the Cocoon by Chanel line. You know the one, it's got Lily "fake retiree" Allen in the campaign looking Audrey or Gabrielle or whatever gamine, doe-eyed/sloe-eyed, long-necked, 3/4 length everything, somethingsomethingmignonmignonDIAMONDS! READ MORE

Slate claims that no one wants to be a dentist anymore, and that everyone hates them because of the movies. (There may be some truth in that! But I think people hated them first. Mostly people hate them because people hate dental work and are suspect of anyone who would do it all day!) Says Slate: "during the 20th century's final decades, a dwindling number of Americans chose to become dentists. In the early 1980s, U.S. dental schools produced about 5,750 new graduates per year. In 2007, with a population that's nearly one-third larger, there were about 4,700." And that: "In 1980, the United States had 60 dental schools; today there are 58, and class sizes are smaller." That is one way to look at the history of dentists! But let's pull some teeth here. READ MORE

Commenter NicFit: "It must have been a real strain, everyone being so mad about this for the last 30 years."

Because why not, here's Jude Law on the Jimmy Fallon thing reciting Lady Gaga's "Poker Face." And this day started with such high hopes! [Via]

Some of you ladies sure seem pretty upset over this Roman Polanski rape (or whatever it was, maybe actual rape-rape) thing: "Maybe you aren't aware-and really, thanks to author Robert Harris for pointing this out in today's New York Times-that 'Mr. Polanski's own young children, to whom he is a doting father, want him home.' If you had known that, surely you would have forgiven him by now. If he's not around to raise his kids, who would prevent them from getting raped by good people?"

Nice one, E!: "Dennis Hopper's reportedly taken an uneasy ride to an emergency room." The report says that the actor was brought into the emergency room wearing an oxygen mask; how hard would it have been to go that extra yard and make a Blue Velvet reference at the same time?

If you're anything like me-hell, if you've got anything less than a Ph.D. in combinatorics-you probably have a hard time figuring out how in God's name to put a sum on your MetroCard that doesn't result in your ending up with a wallet full of cards that have 65 cents each on them. Wonder no more! Via the estimable Katie Bakes, please enjoy the MetroCard bonus calculator. And if you see something, say something.

Related: This New Yorker cartoon, which will only be funny to those of you who remember that MetroCards used to be blue.

I arrived in Pittsburgh last Friday night at 11 p.m., or exactly 12 hours later than I had anticipated when I booked the flight a few weeks earlier. (Hey, that a.m./p.m. thing can be tricky!) This meant I couldn't join my friend Jennifer at the G-20 protest downtown, which after much internal debate (but before I realized my mistake), I decided I was looking forward to. After all-questions of political efficacy aside-who but the cold-hearted and dull-minded doesn't love the traveling carnival that is a great protest march? I was also curious to know whether there would be a contingent of non-heterosexuals. As everyone knows, they are essential to the success of such affairs. READ MORE

I rather enjoyed this Times Dining piece on the pepperoni rolls of Appalachian West Virginia. The roll, "a yeast-risen stub of white bread, seams bursting with coins of Hormel pepperoni, bottom tinged russet by the meat's aromatic grease," is a legacy of the Italian immigrants who came to the region to mine coal at the beginning of the last century. And while I think we can all agree that pepperoni is the most disgusting of the ungulate-based dry sausages-particularly the Hormel iteration; try this if you must-I'm not gonna lie: I would probably eat one of these. Or a couple, depending on how drunk I was. They look like they'd do a hell of a job soaking up the booze.

What is going on, Brentwood? I know it is rough times out there, but I cannot help but wonder what did occur. With you and your career and stuff. Your daughter should be graduating high school around about now, and you are 55. A very hot 55! We all know women can't open a movie, and it is irritating, even if you are whatever, Megan Fox. But you were making them fork over money for the tickets pretty good for a spell there. And these days your husband isn't really working either! Maybe you are the two people in the world who took my advice: have a good time, make some money, and get the hell out, before it becomes a deadening obsession with the material world. Maybe you are on a beach now. I'm not! Yet you are still retaining Lisa Kasteler as your publicist, and you are still on the CAA list. And I saw you did some odd fashion ad campaign over the winter. Whatever, I liked you in the movies. You always seemed like you were enjoying yourself, you looked like you had a secret. Maybe the movies did not like you in them, though. Stupid movies! Anyway, I was just wondering if you are working on something fun, like maybe some web shorts for the YouTube or maybe a book of poetry. WRITE ME BACK IF YOU WANT.

Just another day: Conservative website Newsmax is distancing itself from an article by a longtime columnist endorsing "endorsing a potential military coup as the only way to solve the 'Obama problem.'" Here's an excerpt. READ MORE

Two surprisingly great interviews from an unlikely pairing: of Montreal's Kevin Barnes talks to Daryl Hall and John Oates, who are apparently the most successful musical duo of all time. These are both pretty long, but worth printing out to read later.

I am fooling around with this site for mobile browsers today. If weird things happen on your iPhone or BlackBerry or touch-screen Hello Kitty vibrator today, do not be alarmed.

When I was growing up on the New Jersey shore, my local newspaper was The Asbury Park Press. A fine local newspaper. When I was in high school, the Press had, like many small papers, a weekly Police Blotter, reporting recent arrests and criminal activity. Needless to say, having one's name appear in the Police Blotter was a great boon to one's social-status. Today, browsing the various sections of the APP website, I noticed that the Police Blotter has been renamed. It is now apparently called "Jersey Mayhem." READ MORE

This map of companies purchased by Google is insanely useful because first you realize that you have no idea what any of these companies are and then you realize you have no idea what Google is up to. I am looking forward to someone explaining it to us; I will report back in short order. One item of interest: they have no interest in news, having purchased only one "news"-related company, FeedBurner, which is actually an RSS service and, more importantly, an RSS ad delivery system.