Tuesday, August 4th, 2009
12

Tips For Aspiring Juggalos


Perhaps you've seen this video promoting the 10th Annual Gathering Of The Juggalos? Starting tomorrow and lasting all the way through the weekend, this celebration by and for fans of the Insane Clown Posse is sure to delight all members of the Juggalo Tribe! Years from now, children will be told the oft-recounted tale of how Grandma and Grandpa met behind the Porta-Potty during that fateful summer in Illinois. (Then they will hear about how Grandpa died in a makeshift meth lab explosion.) Still, it's not all fun, games, and meth at the Gathering. Every Juggalo, novitiate or veteran, knows that one must keep one's wits about him or her (particularly her) at all times. Fortunately, here's a survival guide for those of you who might be in attendance. If you're going, text me! Or just swing by the Rape Room, I'm usually hanging around out front.

12 Comments / Post A Comment

hockeymom (#143)

Oh, I thought this was about The Bugaloos…the greatest TV show ever.
Never mind.

saythatscool (#101)

I have been up for days smoking speed and watching UFC. I am leaving my house now for Cave in Rock. See you there Balk.

KarenUhOh (#19)

Cave in Rock, eh? Motherfuckers deserve each other.

jfruh (#713)

If only someone had developed Juggalo spray in time!

Paul F. Tompkins and Tom Scharpling discuss the Juggalos (link to audio player), go to 1:09:00 or so. Good stuff

NicFit (#616)

Wow, that's a whole motherfucking lot of suck there.

paulc (#1,282)

And don't forget Vice's immortal dispatch on the Gathering Of The Juggalos:

"As the evening performances began I started picking up on the nuances of Juggalo trash-pelting. It, like the Faygo drenchings, seemed to be more a measure of general audience enthusiasm than any sort of commentary on the target being pummeled."

To paraphrase Simon Doonan, LOLgay extraordinaire:
I would rather jump into a river of boiling snot than attend this event.
Lucky for me, it looks like the Boiling Snot River canoe trip is being held on Day 3 of the Gathering.

So thoughtful of them to provide enough distractions at the event to allow attendees to forget that the music sucks ass.

MollyBloomberg (#1,169)

Was (briefly) on the same label as Sir Vanilla Ice. All I can say is HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Carnaval del estúpido.

Flashman (#418)

I've been reading a lot about Juggalo culture recently and I've got to say, I'm impressed. I think these kids could be the start of something big. Something beautiful.
They put down the hippies too, especially back when that movement was at about the same stage of development of Juggalo culture. And how wrong 'they' were – look at what the hippie culture went on to achieve. iPod, anyone?

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